


5 times Peter needed Tony

by chvotic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Canon Divergence, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Gun Violence, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Infinity War spoilers, Marvel Universe, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Robbery, Sad Peter Parker, Sensory Overload, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, slight mentions of new york
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-09 07:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15262752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chvotic/pseuds/chvotic
Summary: + 1 time Tony needed Peter.





	1. Numb

**Author's Note:**

> okay so as i always am i'm nervous to post this.. so..
> 
> this first chapter is what happens when you write while in a bad mood lmao  
> i was going to call this something else, but then i realised someone already had that title. fun times.
> 
> i don't know how fast i'll be able to update this, but i'll try be as fast as possible
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoy, sorry if there is any mistakes

Peter had undoubtably had the worst day of his life. 

Well, it felt like the worst day of his life.

To begin his day, he had a fight with May. He couldn't even remember why he had been so angry, why he had snapped at her when she was just trying to help him, trying to get him to stay in that night instead of patrolling. He'd ruined it all, and instead of trying to make it up with her, he let her leave for work on the argument. Peter knew that letting people leave, or to sleep on an argument was the wrong, and possibly worst thing you could possibly do. But he felt so angry, he felt so tired. Spider-Man was taking it's toll on his body, but he didn't want to believe it.

He knew May could see it, he knew she wanted him to take a break. But he couldn't.

May finding out he was Spider-Man had been hard enough, and now that she was pestering him constantly about curfews, Peter had had enough. He knew she was trying to keep him from killing himself, that she was trying to keep him safe and healthy, but he couldn't take a break. Tony was counting on him, the city was counting on him. She didn't understand the responsibility of that.

Peter knew he was acting like the most ungrateful kid there could possibly be, but his mind was running so fast he didn't even have the time to feel bad about it. He had a job, and he had to fulfil that. He had to help the people who needed it. It was his decision, he let himself get the reputation, so he had to deal with it.

He knew he was only fifteen, he knew he shouldn't be thinking like that. But he wanted to do good, he wanted to impress both May, Tony, and the city itself. He felt like he had the responsibility, even though there were Avengers like Tony Stark.

He'd been staying out later, he hadn't been completing homework, his grades were slipping. His life was disintegrating right in front of him, as if everything including himself was turning to dust right in front of him. He knew that, he knew he should be taking a break like May had been trying to tell him to do. But the more he failed, the more he fought, the more dust he saw. In his legs, his hands, his chest. He almost felt numb all over, and he wasn't sure if it scared him or not.

He carried this feeling around with him for the entire day, forcing himself to act like he was okay as he went to each class. If Ned had noticed that something was up, he wasn't mentioning it. Peter wasn't sure if he was pleased or sad that his best friend hadn't said, or noticed, anything wrong with him. He would usually deflect, but after fighting with May, he felt empty. That numb feeling was spreading, he was getting sadder and sadder as the minutes passed.

But he couldn't be sad. This was his fault in the first place. He had to fix it.

The scary thing was, was that he didn't know why he was feeling like this. The strange, neutral-like feeling was spreading quick, adding onto the numbness, overall making him feel like complete shit. He felt like he was a zombie, walking the halls with his eyes half-open and his ears half-listening to everything around him. The only thing that was keeping him going was the knowledge that he would be going to Tony's lab after school, and that maybe his entire wouldn't be completely shitty.

Peter wished he could call Tony. He didn't know why, but he felt like only he would understand.

They had arranged Peter's lab visit a few days back, for him to come to the compound and help Tony around in the lab, and maybe even improve his own suit. Peter had been excited for those few days, so excited he couldn't sleep, which could be another reason why he was feeling so tired.

But after his fight with May, he found that he wanted nothing more than to just sleep away the pain and to just forget everything happened. He needed to sleep away the numbness, he needed to sleep away every bad thought he was thinking. But he knew for a fact that when he fell into the hands of sleep, nightmares about the Vulture and everything else wrong in his life would make themselves known. So, really, he had no escape from his tragic reality.

He let the thought of being with Tony Stark for the afternoon consume him, letting him believe that his day could possibly get better.

But all those thoughts went down the drain when Flash began to pester him while trying to escape his hell of a school.

"Penis Parker." He heard from behind him, his senses telling him that something was about to happen.

Before he knew it, a hand was on his shoulder and turning him around. Ned paused beside him, Peter vaguely seeing him roll his eyes. Peter sighed, turning around with his eyes heavy and his emotions already skyrocketing. He was not in the mood for Flash's shit.

"What do you want, Flash?" Peter almost growled, his fists clenching and causing this nails to dig into his palms almost painfully. He didn't care if he broke the skin, it would be healed within an hour anyways. "I have places to be."

Peter cringed at his own words as soon as he had said them. What was he, six years old? 

Flash, on the other hand, looked like he was about to burst into hysterical laughter from Peter's comment. His lips folded in, as if he were trying to keep the laugh inside, his eyes widening so far it looked like they were going to fall out of his head. The bully was definitely thinking the exact same thing Peter had been thinking.

"Wow, Parker, what a remark." Flash cackled, seemingly looking to his friends for backup. Almost on cue, they started laughing, too. They were fucking sheep, following Flash's every move and doing whatever they were told. That's all they were, followers. They weren't his friends. "Where you gotta be? Your fake Stark Internship?"

"Bye, Flash." Peter snapped, not wanting to deal with his bullshit anymore and to just get out of the school as fast as possible. It was a regular occurrence, Flash pestering him in the hallways any chance he got. In class, it would always be crumpled up pieces of paper hitting him in the back and in the back and sides of his head. Annoyance was barely an emotion Peter would consider after a whole day under Flash's torments. Think more, enraged, maybe.

"Oh, nuh-uh, Penis. We're not done here." Flash snapped, though he was still laughing. "Don't think you can get out of this so easy. We all know your little Stark Internship is bullshit, you don't know Tony Stark. Even the teachers think you're bullshitting."

"What is your problem?" He heard Ned snap this time, and another hysterical burst of laughter following his words. "We haven't done anything, what do you want?"

"Shut up, pudgy." Flash sneered, Peter's fists clenching even harder after hearing those words. Now, that numb feeling he had feeling was gone, replaced with anger. He was furious. Peter knew, if he wanted, he could punch Flash and the boy would go careering down the hallway, the students crowding them being nothing more than bowling pins. If Peter wanted, he could launch the boy into the lockers hard enough to knock the boy out, and even enough to kill him.

But that wasn't Peter. Peter didn't do that to people, even people like Flash. The exceptions were the criminals, the people who deserved it.

But he never killed people.

Maybe Flash deserved it, but he couldn't do it anyways. He wasn't Spider-Man right now, he was Peter Parker.

Hurting criminals was Spider-Man's job, not Peter Parker's. Flash wasn't a criminal, either.

"Looking a little red there, Penis." Flash sneered again, moving into Peter's field of vision. "Did I strike a nerve? Are you feeling bad for your little boyfriend?"

"Shut up, Flash." Peter snapped, trying to keep his anger at bay. No matter how much he wanted to hurt Flash, he couldn't. He wasn't Spider-Man right now, he was Peter Parker. He had to keep reminding himself of this, closing his eyes and breathing out slowly. He opened them again, almost wanting to vomit at the sight of Flash's humoured face. 

He wished he were Spider-Man right now. Peter Parker was the weak, bullied nerd who did not have super-strength or sixth senses. He was human.

"You're weak." Flash scoffed, a hand coming up and slapping at his shoulder, as if it would send Peter back a few steps. Peter's senses warned him of the impact seconds before it occurred, telling him to move out of the way. It wasn't like the petty slap was going to hurt him anyways, but he was Peter right now, so he had to act like it hurt. Or, well, it's what he usually would have done.

Usually, he would have fallen back a few steps, as if he were truly as weak as Flash was saying. But instead, he stayed rigid on the spot, trying not to smirk when Flash raised his eyebrows in mock-shock.

"Hmm, Penis is putting up a fight today." Flash stated, suspicious. Peter wanted to smirk. "This is new."

Peter could also feel the hand tugging at his wrist, the voice telling them that they should just go. He knew his friend was right, and that they should be leaving, but he couldn't let it go now. Ned knew exactly what was going through Peter's head. 

He wanted to give Flash something so he could shut up for at least a few days, so Peter could calm himself down and get rid the numb feeling. He could go back to the Peter Parker who didn't fight back or speak back, instead choosing to ignore all the taunts and insults.

"Why so silent?" Flash questioned, anger starting to move into his expression now. "Ladies and gentlemen, I think I finally made Penis Parker snap!"

"Leave me alone." Peter snapped, moving to turn around and leave. But before he could even get a few steps away from the bully, a hand was grabbing onto his other wrist. He knew exactly who's hand that was. This caused his anger to amplify, turning around sharply and throwing the hand off of him way harder than he meant, and expected. Flash was sent back a few steps, his arm flailing wide as Peter threw it. Peter knew he should stop, but once he had started, he couldn't. "Let me fucking go!"

Silence fell over the hall, but Peter didn't care. He didn't take time to relish in the fact that he had made Flash shut up, the shock-horror clear on his face. Instead, he turned around, yanking his wrist out of his friend's grasp as well and stormed down the hall in the direction of the exit. Happy would be waiting for him outside, he could finally get out of the place he loved to called hell. The hell that was full of demons like Flash Thompson and his followers.

People whispered as he stormed past, his sensitive hearing picking up everything they were saying. But he ignored every word, shoving the door open so forcefully he knew he had used some of his strength. He didn't mean to, but what was done was done before Peter could even get it through his head. He heard the doors swing back, a faint whistling sound coming from them as they cut through the air a lot faster than they should have been going. He heard them slam against the brick wall, Peter's ears picking up the crunch as it cracked some of the said bricks. Instead of turning around to look at what he had done, he ignored it and let his eyes angrily roam around for Happy's familiar car.

It didn't take long until he saw it, the man standing out the front with his sunglasses resting on his nose, being held up by a few of his fingers. He was looking Peter's way, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide as saucers. Peter ignored it all, storming his way over to the car and yanked on the door handle, huffing when it didn't give way like it was supposed to. His anger was fading very slightly, that harrowing helpless feeling beginning to replace it. 

"Woah, kid, is everything alright?" Happy sounded concerned. Happy never sounded concerned. Peter knew this should have comforted him, but instead, it make his anger build up again.

"Please get me out." Peter almost yelled, yanking on the locked door handle for a second time. "Please, Happy, get me out of here."

The doors unlocked after his second plead.

Peter hurried to open the door, throwing himself into the car before slamming it behind him, maybe a little too hard. He set his backpack on the floor between his legs, hiding behind the tinted windows as he set his elbows on his knees, head in hands. What had he just done?

He exploded in front of the students. He back talked Flash, he used his super-strength to get the boy off of him. He had never done that before.

He had let Spider-Man come out. He had let the mutant side of him come out.

"Kid, what happened in there?" Happy was asking, his voice laced with concern. Happy had never been concerned for him before in his life. "Kid? Peter?"

"Nothing." Peter snapped, wiping his hands over his face in frustration. "I'm fine."

"No, you're definitely not." Happy clapped back, suddenly sounding serious. Though, Peter didn't answer the man as the car pulled away from the sidewalk, taking him away from the school. He rested his head against the window, the coolness of the surface relaxing against his hot forehead. "Expect to be speaking with Tony when you get to the compound."

"Nooo, Happy, please don't." Peter shot up from his slouched position, fear now surging through his veins as he feared his afternoon with his idol would be ruined by his stupid moods. He clenched his hands in fists, feeling his nails cutting his skin the more he squeezed. "Really, it's fine, can't we just forget about it?"

"Kid, I have barely seen you anything other than chatter-box central." Happy snapped, and in any normal situation he would have laughed at the man's choice of words. "I have never seen you that angry- you almost broke the school's doors, Peter!"

"It's fine, Happy, we don't need to get Mr. Stark involved, please." Peter was on the edge of hysterical now, his mad mood changes creating a whirlwind inside of his head. "It was nothing, I just got angry, it's all good now, I promise."

"Peter, you almost broke the school's doors and my car's door handle." Happy stated, his voice suddenly so deadpan Peter knew he was fighting and losing. "I've never seen you like that, kid. I think I, and Tony, have the right to be worried."

"Since when do you worry about me?" Peter snapped, realising how insensitive he had sounded as soon as the words left his mouth. He regretted it immediately.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Happy replied, his voice suddenly so calm it made Peter rather horrified. "What happened in there?"

"Nothing happened, Happy, everything is fine!" Peter's voice was rising in octaves once again, he knew he was losing the argument. This increased the frustration, clenching his eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them again. Instead of giving up, he kept on going. "Really, Happy, I just failed a Spanish quiz! I was angry, but I'm not anymore! We can drop it now."

"Since when do you fail quizzes?" Happy snapped, using Peter's own words against him. "If you're not going to tell me, then you're going to tell Tony. I'm sure he'll hardly be impressed that you almost broke the school's front doors with your super-strength."

"Happy, please don't." Peter was horrified, the fact that Tony would be angry with him making him even more terrified and frustrated at the same time. "It was a mistake."

"It's not that I'm concerned about, you know." Happy snapped once again, before to Peter's horror, the window that separated the two began to move up. "Sorry, kid, I'm not letting this go."

Then the window was closed and Peter was left to himself. He slumped against the door, hitting his head a little harder on the window than he had planned as he took in a deep breath. The fear, anger, and whatever emotion that had been between them faded into nothing, that numb feeling taking over as he closed his eyes. To his horror, they were beginning to burn, and he could not be crying in front of Tony Stark. He didn't even know why he was about to cry.

He kept his eyes closed for the entire ride to the compound, purely for the fact that he was on the verge of sobbing. He'd fucked everything up, hadn't he?

He'd used his strength at school.

He'd fought back to Flash.

He wasn't meant to do that, he didn't mean it. He was tired, he missed May, he regretted everything he had said to her that morning.

When the car finally pulled to a stop, he was forced to open his eyes. Though, the tears were long gone, and he found himself worrying about how Tony was going to react. He had heard Happy talking into the phone, the window separating the two of them doing nothing to prevent Peter's ability to listen in. Tony had sounded angry.

Peter wished he had heard wrong. Maybe he was hearing what he was expecting to hear.

He knew he needed to talk to Tony about what had happened, he knew he had to tell him about his recent thoughts on Spider-Man. He had to tell him something to redeem himself.

Peter didn't move when Happy got out of the car, and he didn't move when the door he was leaning on opened. His body sagged to the side, his seatbelt strapping harshly across his chest and jabbed into the side of his neck. Happy pushed him back up, kneeling so he was eye-to-eye with Peter. He hated this, he hated how much he felt like a child in that very moment.

"I'm fine, Happy." Peter grumbled, righting himself and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Peter..." Happy trailed, as if he were unsure what to say. He seemed to think better of it, sighing deeply. "Come on, out."

Peter pretty much dragged himself out of the car, grabbing his backpack and pulled it over his shoulders. He let Happy guide him in the direction of the lift. The man was hovering over him like he was about to fall over, a firm hand resting on the small of his back as he was being led through the large garage. Peter didn't attempt to persuade Happy to take him home, he already knew he was in the shits with his mentor. He'd fucked everything up, he was going to lose the suit, Tony was going to hate him again.

All because of that Flash Thompson.

Soon they were inside the lift, F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice filling the small space.

"To sir's lab?" The monotone AI's voice asked, Happy nodding as if the AI could see him.

"Yes."

The lift was moving. Peter bowed his head, ashamed, staring at his shoes as the lift made it's way to Tony's lab. Before he knew it, they were there, and the lift doors were opening. He could see Tony through the windows, he could hear the loud AC/DC music blaring through the speakers. The man himself was invested in one of his suits, and Peter wished it would stay like that so he could run away before the man saw him.

He pushed back against Happy's hand, fear surging through him like a wildfire as he thought about what might happen to him. How angry Tony was going to be with him.

"Kid, calm down." Happy said, his voice surprisingly warm. Peter didn't feel calm, but he stop pushing, letting himself be led into the lab. Tony looked up from the suit's hand he had been working on, his eyes staring directly at Peter. The stare was so confronting Peter took a few steps back, dropping his gaze as he tried to worm his way out of the situation for a second time. That burning in his eyes came back, the sudden urge to bawl his eyes out tearing through his head at such a rapid speed Peter couldn't even keep up with it. "Peter, calm down."

Peter froze. Happy's voice paused the oncoming tears, that numb feeling returning once again. Finally, he looked up, his eyes lazily meeting Tony's. The man was staring at him still, though he had raised from his seat and placed his suit's hand on the desk. That confronting and slightly angry look had disappeared from his face, now replaced with concern. There was something else on the man's face, Peter only recognising it as... hurt?

Confusion filled him for a few seconds, before it completely disappeared.

"Thanks, Hap, you can leave now." Tony's voice broke the silence between them. "Fri, turn the music down."

Right after his command, the music turned down and was barely even audible. The hand disappeared from his back, Happy's form disappearing from his side. Peter didn't move, eyes trained on Mr. Stark who was walking his way. Peter wanted to step back, he wanted to run away and avoid accepting his fate. He wanted to get into the lift with Happy and have the man take him home, where he could apologise to May for being so disrespectful.

He was going to lose the suit.

"Happy told me what happened." Peter winced, wanting to take several steps back as Tony approached him. "It sounds very out of character, Peter. I haven't seen you so quiet in my time of knowing you."

"There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Stark." Peter rushed, wanting to bury his face in his hands. "Nothing happened."

"Kid." Peter flinched this time. "What Happy was explaining to me over the phone did not sound like nothing. I need you to explain to me what happened for you to almost break your school's doors."

Peter could feel the emotions coming back, the numbness disappearing yet again. His hands were beginning to shake, his eyes were burning, and the thought of knowing that Tony was going to take his suit loomed in the very front of his mind. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. You can take my suit. It's in my-"

"Woah, calm down there, kid. I'm not going to take your suit again, what are you talking about?" Tony sounded astonished. "Peter, I'm not taking your suit. This isn't like the ferry."

Peter's heart shot out of his chest when Tony mentioned the ferry. Immediately, he wanted to yank his suit out of his backpack and force Tony to take it, because he deserved to have to taken off of him. For good this time. 

"You should." Peter snapped instead, using the ounce of anger circulating with the rest of his emotions to deflect the pain he was feeling. "I don't- I don't deserve it."

"Peter, how about we sit down, yeah?" Tony said to him, a comforting but hesitant hand setting on his shoulder. "Come on, let's go take a seat."

Peter once again let himself be guided, sitting down and doing as he was told. His hands were beginning to shake even more, fear brewing in the pit of his stomach more than ever. Tony sat opposite him, his knees just visible in Peter's vision. He hadn't looked at Tony for a long time, and he was terrified of what he might see in the man's eyes. Anger, disappointment.

"Peter, I need you to tell me what happened today." Tony's voice was wavering, as if he were nervous himself. "I've never seen you like this, kid, and you're making me worried. I have all these grey hairs because of you, you know." Peter appreciated the attempt to lighten up the situation, though Peter couldn't find it in himself to feel amused. All he wanted to do now was scream.

"I'm fine, Mr-" He was cut off.

"Tony."

"I'm fine, Tony." Peter continued, trying to stop the shaking in his hands by clenching them together. "I'm fine. Nothing happened."

"Goddamnit, Peter." Tony mumbled, frustration filtering into his tone now. Peter didn't move, keeping his eyes trained on the floor as his muscles tensed up from the shift in tone. "You're going to talk to me. Even if we have to sit here all night, I am not letting you bottle up whatever happened today. Yes, I know I'm not very good at this whole comforting thing, but I need you to tell me what's happened to make you this angry."

"But-"

"Peter. I mean it."

Peter closed his eyes, keeping his mouth shut. It only lasted a few minutes before a finger was under his chin, gently lifting his head. He looked up at Tony for the first time since sitting down, the man's eyes hard but somewhat concerning. Peter immediately wanted to break down, trying to turn his head away to stop the tears from coming. Though, the finger under his chin moved his head back, Tony's eyes staring right into his. "Peter."

"I didn't mean it!" Peter exclaimed, feeling the tears actually coming now as the words exploded from his mouth. "He was annoying me so much- I didn't mean it!"

"Hey, hey, it's alright." Tony whispered, lowering the finger from his chin and resting it on Peter's knee instead. "Who was annoying you, Pete?"

"Flash." Peter whispered, this time not taking his eyes off of his mentor.

"Flash? What kind of name is- never mind. Why was he annoying you?"

"I don't- I don't know. He always does it, it doesn't usually b-bother me but today was different." Peter rushed out, breathing heavily at the end of his sentence. The tears were sitting on his eyelids now, threatening to run down his cheeks at any second. "I usually i-ignore him but today... oh my god."

"He does this regularly?" A hard look passed over Tony's face, his jaw clenching. Peter then looked down, the first tear dripping from his eye onto his jeans. "Hey, don't stop looking at me."

Peter slowly lifted his head, wiping his face as another tear escaped his eye. "Yeah, he does, I guess. But I don't usually care- today was just d-different."

"What was different about it?" Tony asked, the hard look defusing slightly. "Did something else happen?"

"I fought with May." Peter whispered, feeling like he had just been punched in the face by guilt.

"I'm sorry to hear that, kid." Tony whispered, lowering his voice as if he were trying not to scare Peter. This only brought on more tears, his mentor's face blurring in front of him as he tried to blink them away. "Happy said something about the doors, yeah?"

"I didn't mean it." Peter whispered, chewing his bottom lip. "I had to g-get out. I guess I used my strength without noticing. I'm s-sorry."

"Is there anything else bothering you, Underoos?" Tony asked, seemingly ignoring his apology. Peter didn't even know why he was apologising. "I can tell that's not all."

"I d-don't know!" Peter was snapping, he could feel it all coming now. "I'm just- I'm just so fucking tired all the time!" He didn't mean to curse, but his emotions had hit their peak. He was panicking, and he didn't even know why. "I'm trying- I'm trying to be a good Spider-Man, I'm trying, but I'm just so exhausted all the time!"

Tony went to say something, but Peter didn't let him. "And when F-Flash is picking on me- I know I can fight back, but I can't. You know why? Because I'm just Peter Parker. Peter Parker doesn't have super-strength, Peter Parker is weak and let's the bullies talk shit about him!" Peter heaved, the tears now running at full force as he let everything out. "I said things to May that I didn't m-mean, and now she hates me. It's a-always my fault, take the suit, I don't deserve it! I'm just- I'm just so fucking tired and on edge all the time!"

Peter kept heaving knowing he wasn't finished. Tony's hands had moved to his shoulders, though Peter barely noticed as he continued to rant. "I've felt so.. so n-numb all day and I can't stand it! E-Everything is falling apart, Tony, and I d-don't know what to do! I'm a terrible nephew, I'm a terrible superhero- I can't do this a-anymore!"

That's when it all actually crumpled.

Peter collapsed.

His body slid out of the chair, his sobs echoing around the room as the floor came into view. Though, before he could face plant, arms were around him and his face was buried into something warm. He soon realised that it was Tony's chest, one of the man's arms around his shoulders and the other on the back of his head.

That's when Peter really let it go.

His arms wrapped around Tony's stomach, broken sobs leaving his mouth as he did so. He was done.

He could vaguely hear Tony whispering things into his ear, but he couldn't really understand what he was saying. Instead of trying, all he did was cry. Crying seemed to be the only thing he could do, the sounds being muffled by Tony's chest as he let it all out. His grief over fighting with May, Flash tormenting him in the hall, Peter accidentally using his strength on both Flash and the school's doors. He let it all out, even things from months ago that had been bothering him. Before he knew it, he was even more exhausted than before.

He heaved, his sobs quieting as he finally came back to his senses. He hadn't noticed that Tony was rocking him back and forth slightly, still whispering, his one had still firmly on the back of his head, keeping him in place. Peter didn't move, letting himself calm down from the extreme emotional breakdown, squeezing Tony just a little tighter. 

He was so exhausted.

After a few more minutes, what Tony had been saying finally met his ears.

"There you go, you're alright. Just breathe." Peter did as his mentor said, forcing himself to calm down. His whole body was trembling, he was terrified, but he was too exhausted to even care. He was too exhausted to even move, letting his body slump in Tony's arms. "Y'know, a kid told me to breathe through a panic attack once. His name was Harley. Good kid, I should have you meet him some day. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see me after I re-did his garage."

Peter didn't know the relevance of the Harley kid but let it consume him anyways.

After a few more minutes of calming down, Tony finally moved. Peter let the man move him around, pulling his face out of his chest. Peter didn't want to know how he looked, keeping his eyes trained on Tony who was looking down at him in concern. "I'm s-sorry."

"No. You have nothing to apologise for." Tony almost snapped, though he didn't sound angry. He sounded... scared? "All that stuff you said? None of it is true, kid. You're not weak, you're one of the strongest fucking people I have ever come across. You're also very brave. A lot braver than I was at your age, that's for sure."

Peter felt the tsunami of tears coming again, but this time it wasn't out of sadness. He was overwhelmed with what Tony was saying to him, his exhaustion amplifying the feeling as the man continued to shower him with compliments. Peter was pretty sure he was just saying that to make Peter feel better, but even Peter himself knew he needed it.

"May doesn't hate you. She'll come around. And you're not a terrible Avenger, and you're not a terrible nephew. You're too hard on yourself, Pete." Tony stared right at him as he spoke, causing Peter's semi-built facade to crack instantly. He fell forwards, burying his face back into Tony's chest as he did so. He wasn't sobbing this time, though the tears still burned at his eyes as he did so. "I understand, you know. You're exhausted but you want to help people at the same time. I get it, if you want to take a break from Spider-Man for a while. Everyone needs a break."

Peter thought about it. He did need a break. But did he want to take one?

Definitely not. People needed his help.

Peter pulled away, wiping his face down with his hands.

"Alright, how about this. Tonight, you stay here, you rest. I'll call May, I'll let her know what's going on, you don't have to go to school tomorrow." Tony continued, one hand raising to wipe some of Peter's tears away. Peter almost sobbed, the touch so paternal he wanted to break down all over again. "Then, if you're feeling up to it, we can work on your suit. Sound good?"

Peter sat there, staring, wondering. Then what after felt like eternity to him, he nodded, sniffing.

"Great!" Tony was smiling. Though Peter could see the worry in his eyes, but for once, he didn't pay any attention to it. Then, his mentor was speaking again. "I never thought I'd be good at comforting a kid, but look at me."

"I think you're doing great."


	2. The Three Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this was originally only 3,400 words, and when i read over it to check for mistakes, it somehow got to 5,400....
> 
> and wHew 100+ kudos and 1k+ reads in only two days?? what did i do to deserve this? THANK YOU!!!
> 
> i'm not really too sure about this chapter but i'm going to post it anyways, so i hope you enjoy!

Peter wished he hadn't gone out patrolling that night. 

But he was Spider-Man, he had already taken a month's break, he couldn't keep off of the streets for any longer than that. Civilians had begun to notice, several tweets about him appearing on Twitter within two weeks of his disappearance, which just amplified his need to get back out there. He had ended up spending an entire night reading through those tweets about him, eventually moving onto youtube comments about him until it was four in the morning.

His body hadn't appreciated that later that day, and neither did May.

But he had been beginning to grow bored of sitting around, doing the same thing every day. In some way, he needed Spider-Man to function, even if it made him do nothing of the sort. He loved it, he liked saving people, he loved feeling like he had a purpose. In a way, reading those youtube comments had lifted his spirits. Aside from the mean ones, of course, but he didn't really pay attention to those.

He had made up with May the night after breaking down in Tony Stark's lab, their make-up had involved a lot of tears from Peter and a lot of consoling words from May. Peter knew he didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve to have such an amazing aunt in his life. She had forgiven him almost instantly, despite how harsh some of the things Peter had said were. She forgave him, consoled him, and for the rest of that night they watched movies until Peter fell asleep. He didn't deserve to have such a forgiving and amazing woman in his life. An amazing woman who he had treated like shit merely hours before.

He didn't deserve to have Tony Stark looking after him as much as he had been over his month off his Spider-Man duties, either. Tony had let him come into the lab almost every day after school, he had let him help improving both his own suit and even some of his Iron Man suits. Peter didn't deserve these people in his life, he didn't deserve to have people who were being so good to him.

Thankfully, Peter hadn't snapped at Tony like he had with May. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to live with himself if he lost both of his parental figures at once. He'd already lost three of them.

But instead of feeling bad for himself, he embraced the help and rested up for an entire month, all the while making sure he was being good to his aunt and his mentor.

Flash hadn't annoyed him for a total of three days before he was on at Peter again, and once again he fell into the usual routine. Ignore Flash, get his work done, leave school, go to the compound. When he had gone back to school for the first time since he almost broke the front doors, his eyes had almost fallen out of his head when he spotted how badly he'd actually damaged both the walls and door handles. He had never been that angry before after that spider bite, and Peter found himself realising he didn't fancy the idea of it happening again very much.

The door handles on both doors were caved in a little, and the bricks they had collided with were cracked, as were some of the ones around them. Peter decided to ignore it, ignoring the gazes from some of the students who saw what happened as he made his way through the school. Ned stuck by his side, MJ hung around with them sometimes, and his life was going semi-okay.

In all, he hadn't had a very eventful month, and soon he had gotten incredibly bored of doing nothing.

So what did he do?

He went straight back to playing the Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man as soon as May and Tony let him.

After a month of doing nothing, Peter was ecstatic to get back out there. Despite Spider-Man being the thing that had stressed him out so much in the first place, he was excited to go back to helping people and saving lives. Putting the suit on for the first time in four weeks had been a relief in some strange way, as if Peter had just finished homework he'd been putting off for days on end. He took off out his window, a grin finding it's way onto his face as he swung through the city like he always did.

Finally, he felt free again. Despite knowing that being Spider-Man and Peter Parker at the same time was bound to stress him out again, he knew this was what he had to do. He liked helping people, he already knew that part long before he was Spider-Man. Even if it exhausted him, he wanted to do it. Even if it caused him to almost destroy his bully and his school.

His only worry was the anger he had felt that day.

Instead of dwelling on it, he turned to his AI for company instead. She had said hello as soon as he had put the suit on, but he was too busy hyping himself up to notice her welcome.

"Hey Karen!" Peter had exclaimed, setting himself on the top of a building and began to watch over the city.

"Welcome back, Peter." His AI replied, and if she were a real person, Peter would have thought she was smiling upon his return. She had said the same thing only a few minutes earlier, but Peter had ignored her.

"Anything for me to do?" Peter asked, swinging his legs on the side of the building as he waited for something to happen. He knew it was bad, wanting crime to happen, but it had been a month since he'd done anything and it was safe to say that he was excited. He kicked the side of the building with his heels as he spoke to his AI. "Any crime around?"

"There seems to be no crime at the moment, Peter." Karen replied, her voice monotone. "Would you like me to alert you if crime occurs?"

"Yes please." Peter knew the drill. He was surprised Karen was even still asking him that question. "You know I do."

"Just making sure, Peter. I am programmed to make sure you are okay."

"Thanks Karen."

It was around half an hour of leg swinging and heels hitting brick before his AI changed the topic of their conversation.

"I have just been informed that there is a robbery taking place south of you." Karen informed him, her voice turning incredibly monotone as the situation took a turn. "I recommend you get there fast, it appears that there is weapons involved. Or shall I call Mr. Stark? I am programmed to-"

"On it." Peter cut her off, eyes bulging at the thought of Tony coming. It was his first day back and he didn't want to seem like he couldn't handle it. "There's no need to call Mr. Stark, Karen. Everything is fine." With that, he almost threw himself off of the building when he realised something. "Um, which way's south, Karen?"

"Turn around." Peter listened to her instructions. "Straight ahead, Peter."

Peter cursed at his stupidity, running to the other side of the roof before extending his webs. He swung through the buildings, listening to Karen as she directed him in the way of the supposed burglary. He wondered what weapons might be involved, and thought of ways he could avoid getting himself hurt. He managed to get to the destination within two minutes, his muscles tensing with half-exciment, half-fear. He ignored the fear side, pushing it away for another time as he lowered himself to the ground and hid on the corner of the small store.

"Karen, how many of them are there?" He whispered, hoping she would be able to pick up his voice. 

"There are three men." She replied, sounding nervous. "I recommend you be careful, Peter. I am detecting weapons, such as two guns. One is aimed at the storekeeper. Are you sure you would not like me to call Mr. Stark?"

"What should I do?" Peter cut her off once again, his excitement draining away as people looked at him fearfully, some having their phones out as one of the men's angry yells being heard from outside the store. It seemed as Peter had an audience. "How can I get in there without them getting shot? And no, don't call Tony."

"You will need to web up the man holding the gun towards the storekeeper. You must be fast, or you or the storekeeper will get injured."

"Okay. I can do that." Peter hyped himself up, ignoring the yells from civilians as they looked at him, then back at the building. Peter wished they would shut up, they would draw attention to him before he could even get into the building. "I can do this."

"Hurry, Peter."

"Sorry."

Peter snapped out of it, running from around the corner without a second thought. He went straight for the door, pushing it open with such force it almost flew of it's hinges. The bell ringed over his head as he hurried him, already managing to web up a rather bulky looking man who was holding his gun in the direction of a crying woman. She was completely bawling her eyes out, her whole body quivering as she held her arms up in surrender. Peter's heart clenched painfully as he went to grab the gun from the man's webbed up body, using his webs to sling it across the room and into the wall. The thing broke on impact, and Peter felt just a little reassured that one of the weapons was out of action.

"Hey guys, it's rude to steal things." Peter spoke, his voice wavering as he spotted the man with the second gun Karen had warned him about. He had been hoping she was wrong. The other was just looking at him, the slit in the beanie revealing his rather evil-looking eyes. "How would you feel if people stole from you?"

"Shut the fuck up." The evil-eyed one snapped, hauling a backpack filled with stolen goods onto his shoulder. "You're just a fucking kid, I can hear it in your voice. How would the city feel when their beloved Spider-Man is really a Spider-Baby."

"Whose the kid here? Me or you?" Peter snickered, already getting ready to web the man up. This evil-eyed man reminded him of Flash in a way, knowing that he would probably come up with the exact same insult. He pushed those thoughts away, readying himself for attack.

"You better stop talking, kid, or she's going to get a nice sized bullet in her forehead." Peter froze up, kicking himself internally when he realised he hadn't been watching the second guy. Why hadn't his senses gone off?

The man who had spoken was the one who he had webbed up first, who was grinning sickly at him. Peter was very aware of the audience outside, and the sirens in the far, far distance. There was no way the police would get here in time before something bad happened. Now his spider sense was beginning to tingle, though it was very faint. Something bad was coming, he had felt this before.

With the second he had spent thinking through his options, his spider sense suddenly began to go haywire. It had gone from very dull to very alarming within seconds, his head beginning to pound as he sensed the man's fist coming for his head. He turned his head just in time dodge the man's fist, using his webs to yank him into one of the shelves. It toppled over with a crash, the man's body knocking everything off of the shelves as they turned into dominoes, all topping over each other with loud crashes. This hurt Peter's ears, his head beginning to hurt faintly as he forced the pained tears away. This wasn't a time for sensory overload.

Peter launched himself towards the man, using his webs to double up the ones already there. Soon the man was completely covered, and Peter was whirling around to take care of the second. To his horror, he hadn't moved, just staring at Peter with sickening eyes as Peter heard the sound of his webs tearing. The first man he had taken care of was peeling himself out of the webs, the silver of a knife being visible as he cut the webs apart. 

Peter reached up to web him up again, but the shrill voice of the man wielding the gun filled his ears. "Web him up again and she dies." 

Peter didn't look at the man, chewing his lip as he kept his hands raised, ready to shoot at any alarming movement. It was when his spider senses began to alert him once again he turned around.

He wished he had of turned around earlier. His senses had warned him.

The gun was no longer aimed at the woman, whose sobs were echoing off of the walls as she cried for help. The gun was now aimed at him, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up incredibly high as the man grinned. Peter turned hands to him instead, ignoring the warning of his senses as he went to web the man up.

But he was too late. He was far too late.

The sickening bang of a gunshot echoed around him, hurting his sensitive ears even more as people screamed bloody murder around him. When his ears finally stopped hurting enough to regain his senses, he felt himself go rigid. He was shocked that something had gone into his shoulder, lodging itself there. He could feel the bullet. He had been sent back a few steps, his legs beginning to buckle as he began to register what had just happened to him.

"Karen-" Peter whispered, feeling his legs finally buckle beneath as his knees hit the floor.

"You've been shot, Peter!" Karen exclaimed, her voice filled with shock, if an AI was even capable of doing so. "Calling Mr. Stark."

"N-No- I'm fine." Peter stammered, the pain finally beginning to blossom as the situation dawned on him completely. "D-Don't call-"

"Kid?" Tony's voice filled his head, the pain beginning to turn into agony as Peter crumpled onto the floor. The siren's hurt his ears as the police cars pulled up in front of the small store, the men having left without a fleeting glance as he laid there wreathing on the floor, the woman's crying getting closer and closer until she was kneeling by his side. "Kid? What's going on? Karen said-"

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god-" The woman cut Tony's voice off, Peter trying his best not to scream as the agony flared from his shoulder. His senses made everything worse, the pain more intense than it would have been for a human. "This should have been me- oh my god, I'm so sorry."

"I'm coming kid." Peter heard Tony say vaguely before the call was cut off, and Karen's voice was replacing his. "Mr. Stark is on his way, Peter. You have sustained a serious injury in the left shoulder from a bullet, and are in need of medical attention."

Peter could barely listen to her as the pain took over, tears burning his eyes as he tried his best not to wail. He coughed, the coughs turning into choked sobs as he tried to keep everything in. He was Spider-Man, he could do this. He can get through a gunshot, he was meant to stop the men from stealing. Now, they had stolen everything and this poor woman was left with her store in pieces. He had failed.

He let out the first actual, gut-wrenching sob when footsteps began thumping into the store, his ears picking up every sound and causing his head to ache even more. He could hear everything, he could feel everything, and all he wanted was to curl up in his bed and wish it was all a dream. This was his first day back as Spider-Man had he had already fucked it all up. He had gone and got himself shot when people were in need. Hell, people could be in need right now and all the authority was here! 

He felt people kneel beside him, hands moving to take his mask off. This made Peter cry out more in horror than pain, going to make the movement of stopping them before the agony made him see stars. 

He screamed that time, trying to pull his head away as the hands pried at his mask. "N-no!"

The hands didn't listen, and soon, the cold air was hitting his face and the tears were finally able to run freely down his cheeks and into his ears and hair. His eyes met a policeman's, the man's eyes full of horror as he looked down at Peter. "P-Please, give it b-"

A sudden flare of pain exploded in his shoulder, causing him to groan painfully as he tried to hold in a sob. He squeezed his eyes shut, using his other un-injured arm to reach around for his mask. He wished Tony would get there soon, so he could get him out before too many people saw him.

"He's just a kid!" He heard a strangers voice, the woman who had been getting her store robbed still crying her eyes out beside him. She was now holding his hand, squeezing it as if she were trying to provide him some comfort. He squeezed back, trying not to squeeze too hard incase he broke her fingers. He could heal, but she couldn't. He had let her store get destroyed. "We have to get an ambulance here, now."

"No!" Peter screamed this time, wishing Tony would hurry up. "N-no!"

"You've just been shot, we need to get you to the hospital." It must have been the policeman who was talking to him. He wasn't really sure anymore.

"No! Misser- Misser-" He was losing his ability to talk normally, his head rolling to the side as he tried not to pay too much attention to the agony in his shoulder. He was growing tired, he wanted to sleep. It was his first day back on patrol and he had gotten himself shot and failed to help someone in need. Great going, Penis. "Misser Star'."

"Who?" The man asked him, his tone hard and not comforting in the slightest.

"Misser Star'." Peter mumbled, rolling his head back over before speaking again. "Tony!"

"Tony Stark?" The man sounded astonished. "We need paramedics here, now!"

It was then when Peter heard the thump outside, the familiar sound of the Iron Man suit filling his ears. He heard some people scream out in shock, and he could hear the suit presumably letting Tony out of it. Had he really come? How did he know? He didn't remember...

It was then when the body that was next to him moved, and someone else took his place. Peter forced his eyes open when someone touched his chest, his eyes soon meeting the hysterical looking ones of Tony Stark. "Misser Star'."

"Yeah, kid, I'm here." Tony mumbled, eyes searching over his face and then moving to his shoulder. Peter jumped when he noticed the suit standing over them, wincing and whimpering when his shoulder throbbed from the movement. "I'm getting you out of here, right now. We're going to go to the doctors back at the compound, and they're going to patch you up. How does that sound?"

"Mmm." Peter agreed, feeling his mind distance away from his body as sleep threatened to take over. Or was it unconsciousness? "Sleepy..."

"No, Pete, you can't go to sleep just yet. I'm going to get back in the suit and take you back to the compound. Try and stay awake for me, alright? It'll be over soon. Hang in there."

"Mmm." Was all Peter managed to reply, deciding on keeping his eyes on Tony as the woman's gentle grip left his hand. He reached out for her, wishing she would just hold his hand for a little longer and make things okay for just a few more seconds. He couldn't remember who she was, why was she holding his hand again?

Though, all his hand found was air, and when the woman filled him he reached for Tony instead. He knew he wasn't thinking straight, but all he wanted was for the pain to be hugged away. He couldn't move his left arm, the thing a dead weight on his side as the pain began to subside. What had happened again? He couldn't remember anymore. He was just so tired...

He watched wearily as Tony got into the suit, before kneeling down in front of him. The protests from the people around him filled Peter's ears, shouting being heard as he felt the cool metal of Tony's suit moving under his back. When he was moved, he wailed. He couldn't help it, he couldn't do anything but cry. The agony was back at full force now, his eyes squeezing shut as the mechanical sound of the Iron Man suit filled his ears. The sound made him feel calm, and it made him feel safe. Where was he again?

His head flopped against Tony's shoulder, eyes falling shut as the man began to move him out of the scene of the crime. He vaguely heard him asking for Peter's mask, before the world was falling from Peter and his mind was slipping away. A small nap wouldn't hurt, right? He would be fine. Maybe he'd wake up and this all would be a dream? Maybe he was in his home.. wherever that was.

"Peter?" They were flying now. Wow. When had that happened? Why were they flying? Why did his shoulder hurt so much? "Peter? You with me, kid?"

"Mmm, Misser Star'." Peter mumbled, trying to come to his senses. He was in the sky with Iron Man. Why was he in the sky again? "Where am I?"

"We're almost at the compound, hang in there." Was Tony's reply, and before Peter knew it, he was out again.

The next time he woke up, all he could do was scream. He screamed bloody fucking murder, his whole shoulder screaming and screaming in agony as something poked around it. Or more so, inside of it. There were restraints around his wrists and ankles, and all he could do was scream until his brain couldn't handle it anymore, and he was once again struggling to remember where he was and what was happening. But before he could remember, the pain was gone and he was out like a light.

The third time he woke up, all his shoulder was was a dull ache. His eyelids were heavy, his head pounding as he slowly came to his senses, knowing someone was speaking to him but unsure of what they were saying. He didn't open his eyes, trying to remember what was going on as he racked his memories for answers. Three men. The woman who had been holding his hand, the man that reminded him of Flash. The guns, the gunshot. He had been shot. That's right, he'd been shot on his first day back as Spider-Man. Was the woman okay? He didn't remember.

He kept his eyes firmly shut, hearing voices around him but unsure of what they were saying. His whole body felt heavy, his muscles feeling like weights in his arms and legs as he tried to move them. Is this what it felt like to be a sack of potatoes?

He began to feel annoyed by this heavy, stiff feeling, deciding that maybe he could move his limbs a little. As soon as he did so, his whole body screamed in protest, and a groan left his lips before eh could stop it. He forced his eyes shut even tighter than before, letting his right hand fist a sheet of some kind as he waited for the ache to subside. When it did, he finally understood the words that were being said.

"-eter?" Peter had stopped moving at the sound of someone saying his name, trying to force his eyes to open now. He was sick of the darkness. "Pete? Can you hear me?"

"Mmm." Peter groaned, managing to get his eyes open just a little. The bright light burned his eyes, forcing them closed again as his head pounded even more. Nope, he wasn't sick of the darkness. "Too.. too bright."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., turn the lights down." Friday? Friday was a day in the week.. wasn't it? "Thanks. Pete, wanna try open your eyes again?"

Peter did as the voice told him, forcing his heavy eyelids to move as he blinked his eyes open. The blinding light was gone, his headache being eased just as a little as he focused on the roof above him. Okay, maybe the real world wasn't so bad. Now, where was he? Who was Friday?

Then in clicked. F.R.I.D.A.Y., Tony Stark's AI. Tony Stark was his mentor, Peter was Spider-Man. It was his first day back and he had messed up. He had gone on break because he almost destroyed his bully and his school. He had a tantrum in front of everyone. Now he remembered.

"Misser Star'?" Peter mumbled, rolling his head to the side in search of his mentor. He ignored all the thoughts about his episode at school, those thoughts alone bringing the almost familiar burn to his eyes.

"Yeah, Pete, I'm right here." Peter found the man as he was speaking, feeling comforted slightly at the sight of the billionaire. "How are you feeling?"

"Like.. like I've been hit by a... train." Peter sighed, opening and closing his eyes for a few seconds before focusing back on Tony. "Where's... where's May?"

"She's on her way. I wanted to wait until after your.. surgery before letting her see you." Tony replied, all the words expect one flying right over Peter's head. Surgery? When had he had surgery? He remembered Tony telling him that they were currently working on something to sedate him, due to his powers burning the medicine before it could even put him to sleep. Though the sedative was only for times like.. times like these. They hadn't finished yet, they wouldn't have done surgery on him while he was awake... had he been awake?"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember... men. Gettin' shot." Peter mumbled, moving his un-injured arm to feel around the area he had been impaled by the bullet. It ached slightly, but it was nowhere near to the pain he had felt when he got shot in the first place. It was most likely already healing, though the thought of his skin tearing upon impact made his eyes tear up, wanting May to arrive more than ever. "How did they do s-surgery?"

"It wasn't fun, kid, be glad you don't remember any of it." Tony sighed, his voice wavering as if he were tired. "You were awake for some of it."

"I don' remember." A tear slid down his cheek, and Peter couldn't even remember why he was crying. "May?"

"She's almost here, kid." Tony whispered, moving closer to him. "Anything hurting?"

"Mmm, head. Shoulder." Peter replied, chewing on his lip. He couldn't cry. "M' sorry."

Tony looked astonished. "Why are you sorry, Peter? There's nothing for you to be sorry for."

"I couldn' stop them." Peter whispered, letting the tears fall. There was no point holding them back now. "I could've done more. It was my first day an' I messed up."

"Peter, it's okay." Tony reassured him, a hand settling on his wrist. "No one's angry at you. You did what you could."

"They got away." Peter mumbled, closing his eyes.

"No, Peter, they didn't." Peter's eyes snapped right back open when he heard that. "The cops found them trying to run. Don't worry, Pete, they got caught. You did good."

"The suit..."

"Don't. Don't worry about that." Tony almost snapped, making Peter flinch. "All that matters is that you're alright. The suit can be fixed. I'm really starting to consider making you wear that Iron Spider suit. What do you think of that?"

"Iron Spider?" Peter questioned, the oncoming tears pausing their journey. 

"Yeah, the suit I offered you." Tony said as if it were no big deal, though his eyes were saying otherwise. "It would protect you a lot more than that other one I gave you. Sometimes I wonder why I just didn't give you the..."

"Sleepy." Peter mumbled, already feeling his mind fading as he tuned out of what Tony had been saying "M-May?"

"I'll wake you when she arrives." Tony moved to grip his hand this time. Peter felt himself smile lazily, the paternal action making Peter feel happy inside. Despite the fact that he had been shot on his first day back as Spider-Man, he was feeling okay. 

He let his eyes close, Tony's hand staying tight around his as he tried to force himself to sleep. Though matter how much he tired, his mind wouldn't let him, and soon he was blinking them back open and looking over to Tony. Tony wasn't looking at him, his mentor staring out of the window with a look on his face Peter never wanted to see again. He looked so.. helpless. Why was he looking like that? Peter didn't like it. 

"Tony." Peter mumbled, moving his hand out of Tony's to push at his shoulder slightly. "Can I... can I have a hug?"

Tony's eyes snapped away from whatever he had been looking at, those sad eyes now resting on Peter with a new look in his eye. Peter would say it was surprise, but he had a feeling it was something else. It was silent for a few seconds, Peter realising that he had asked the wrong question and instead looked down in his lap, ashamed. They weren't there yet. He knew they weren't there yet, but Peter needed Tony right now, and he was just praying the billionaire would do something.

When Peter looked up at him for a second time, Peter thought for a second that Tony was going to cry.

But instead, the billionaire leaned forwards and gently wrapped his arms around Peter, seemingly dodging all the medical things attached to him as he did so. Peter felt the tears rise as he rested his head on his mentor's shoulder, closing his eyes in an effort to stop those tears. His shoulder was aching, but he didn't care. 

"You have no idea how many grey hairs you give me, kid." Tony mumbled into his hair, his head resting atop of Peter's. "You're definitely wearing the Iron Spider." 

"I d-don-t" Peter was cut off before he could even finish.

"Yes you do, Peter." Tony's hold on him tightened, and Peter felt those tears rise once again. "You're way to hard on yourself, kid."

"Sorry."

"Stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for." Tony's words were harsh, but his tone was not. Peter had no idea what to think of that, so instead, he sniffed. "How's about you try getting some more sleep, yeah?"

"What about you?" Peter found himself asking, his voice wavering horribly. Wait, what had he just said? 

"What do you mean, Pete?" Tony asked, his voice hardening as if Peter had said the wrong thing.

"You need to sleep, too." Peter hurried, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. He's said the wrong thing. "S-sorry, I s-shouldn't have said t-that, g-god." Peter found himself hysterical in seconds, clinging onto Tony as if he were going to let him go. Peter couldn't deal with that right now, he didn't care if his shoulder was screaming in protest.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Tony sounded mildly horrified, that hardness in his tone gone. Had Peter just imagined it? "You didn't say anything wrong, kid. I agree, I should probably be sleeping more, but I need to make sure you're okay."

Peter let himself calm down, easing his hold on his mentor as his mind began to shut down. It was so sudden, but he was grateful. He was truly exhausted. "Sleepy..."

"Go to sleep, you've had a hell of a day." Tony's tone was less horrified and more calm now, and Peter felt his mind fading before he could even fight against it. "Goodnight, Peter."

"G'night, Misser Star'." He mumbled, his words becoming slurred.

Peter fell into the clutches of sleep feeling as comforted and as safe as he could be.

He wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave some feedback below! i love receiving comments, and the ones i got on the last chapter made me smile so big 
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
> if you want, follow me on ig @wolvicious , i post edits :)


	3. Anger Management + Identities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200+ kudos!! i'm not crying, totally
> 
> this chapter ended up being longer than the others.. 6,400+ words! i'm hoping that's a good thing?? though, i'm not sure if this chapter actually that good. though, i did enjoy writing it, since angst is one of my favourite things to write, so i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing!
> 
> sorry if there's any mistakes

Peter was furious. Why? He didn't even know anymore. 

He pushed past people at school, trying not to flinch when his once injured shoulder knocked against other people's bodies, almost feeling like he was being shot all over again every time that exact spot was just as much as poked. Flinching had become a common occurrence since that fateful day, since that day those three men had attempted to rob that store. People would do so much as touch that spot, he would flinch like he was being shot all over again. Those people would look at him strangely, they would eye him like he was insane. To make his situation even better, people in the city and in his school now knew Spider-Man was a kid.

It hadn't gotten through to Peter that the people who had been there knew who he was at first. He was sure no one knew his name, which did little to reassure him that he could continue to be Spider-Man like nothing had ever happened. News had broken out over all of the social medias that Peter owned, all sorts of articles circulating the internet as the world got the gist of his recent fuck up. Even some blurry pictures had made it out, but Peter was blessed that no one could see his face properly enough to fully identify him. He had heard students talking about it during school, and he hated every second of it.

To make matters even worse, the public had started to speculate about Tony's affiliation with Spider-Man, since he had literally swooped in and collected Peter like a little damsel in distress. His life was so great, so great he had even dragged Tony into it. Some of the things that people were saying about both Tony and Spider-Man made Peter feel sick to the stomach, which just amplified every single emotion he could possibly be feeling.

So, yeah, maybe Peter had a right to be angry.

But it wasn't like a normal angry spell, where it would blow off in a few hours and he would be okay again, happy as ever. No, he was constantly angry. Ever since he escaped the medical ward of the compound and had returned back home, he had found himself getting angrier and angrier as the days passed. To his horror, he had snapped at Tony during one of their times in the lab, which had resulted in the man leaving him on his own for a few hours to cool off. Peter would rather be seen dead than snap at his mentor again like that, and just thinking about it made him feel nervous.

He was a mess all over again and he knew it. The progress he had made during his month off seemed to have disappeared into thin air, and he seemed to be back to his old, stressed-out self. He knew it wouldn't take much for him to snap at somebody else, to accidentally use his strength on someone or something and the world would figure out that he was the kid that called himself Spider-Man. Peter wished he could just dig himself a hole and die in there so he wouldn't have to go through that emotional pain all over again.

If Flash ever found out that he in fact was a lot more than 'knowing Spider-Man', he'd be dead. He'd never hear the end of it. The school would find out, Liz would most likely find out that he was the one who sent her father to jail. MJ would find out, but for some reason, Peter felt like she already knew. He didn't know how she could have figured it out, but if she didn't say anything to anyone, Peter didn't care. He knew the girl was very observant, so he figured it may not have taken her long to figure it out.

He just wanted to keep his secret quiet. Was it really that much to ask?

These thoughts caused that anger to take a sudden surge, his head feeling more full of agitation than it had been a few minutes prior. He was a mess. 

He was in the middle of his English class when these thoughts occured. The thought of Flash finding out who he was, Liz finding out who sent her father to jail and MJ already knowing just made him more scared, angry, and everything in between. He wished he could be down in Tony's lab, buried in the upgrades for his suit like there was nothing to worry about in the world. 

He didn't need to worry when he was down there, he felt like he was safe from all the torments and media comments about him. He felt his anger levels decrease slightly, knowing that he was in fact going to the compound today and that he and Tony would be working on his suit. If he just held out until then, he would be fine. He couldn't repeat what he had done all those weeks ago, especially when people knew Spider-Man was a high-schooler.

These mildly encouraging thoughts turned to dust right in front of him as another piece of paper hit him in the back of the head. 

Flash was being particularly annoying, scrunched up pieces of paper constantly hitting Peter on the back of his head as soon as his teacher turned around. There was a pile beginning to gather around Peter's desk, the people around him sniggering as paper ball after paper ball hit him repetitively, almost in the same spot every time. Where was Flash even getting all this paper from? He could hear him tearing said pieces of paper, the noise being constant and even more annoying than the objets hitting his head. Why couldn't Flash just leave him alone for one goddamn second?

Ned was sat next to him, occasionally glancing over at Peter as if he knew how agitated he was becoming. Peter didn't look at him, finding that he was getting even more annoyed when he could see Ned looking at him in the corner of his eye. He clenched his hand into a fist on top of the table, digging his fingernails into his palm as he tried to focus on the words his teacher was saying. Though he found himself unable to concentrate, his clenched fist beginning to shake the more Flash threw those stupid pieces of paper. How the teacher didn't notice the growing pile around him, Peter didn't know.

Then a paper hit him somewhere that wasn't the back of his head. The piece landed on his left shoulder, and despite the thing weighing literally nothing, flinched so hard his table screeched across the tile floor. People snickered, his teacher turning around with raised eyebrows as she paused what she was saying. She stared directly at Peter for a few seconds, before her eyes gazed over the mess around him.

"Peter, mind telling me what all that is around you?" She asked stupidly, as if she just wanted Peter to get laughed at. He stared right back at her for a few seconds, feeling his face harden in annoyance as he thought up a reply.

"Paper." His fist was shaking so much it began to annoy him also, moving his hand off of the desk and onto his leg so he could hide his anger from the rest of his class. He could feel the small amount of blood beginning to rise from the cuts he'd created with his fingernails, though that was the last thing on his mind as he tried his hardest not to have a meltdown in the middle of his English class.

"Clean it up, would you?" She questioned, before turning back around to the whiteboard and continued her boring speech. Just as Peter was about to stand, another piece of paper hit him in the same spot on his left shoulder. He jumped again, cursing himself internally when the table screeched for a second time. He could feel the humiliation coming for him as he stood, pushing his chair out to get out from behind his desk. 

He bent down, gathering all the pieces of paper in his hands before moving to go to the recycling bin. Though, on his way there, he didn't notice that someone had put their foot out. What he did notice was that his spider sense was tingling, telling him that something bad was about to happen. But of course, like he always did in the worst situations, he ignored it. He was too angry to care.

So what did he do?

He fucking tripped.

Peter yelped when his face came in contact with the floor, the pieces of paper sprawling around him once again as he took the nose dive for the tiles. For a few seconds, he wanted to burst into tears, but that thought was soon gone as the people around him began to laugh at his misfortune. A dull ache spurted in his forehead and his nose, his hand coming up to rub the areas as the other one moved to his left shoulder. He caught Ned's gaze as he did so, the boy staring at him with wide and sorrowful eyes as Peter rubbed at the location the bullet had entered his body. 

Peter looked down, ashamed that he had been caught in the act by his best friend, lowering his hand. It was just then when he noticed the half-moon shaped cuts in his right palm, the wounds red and only leaking a small amount of blood. He closed his hand instantly, not wanting people to see as they continued to cackle around him. How could people be so cruel?

He looked up, glaring as much as he could at the person who had tripped him. Of course, it was one of Flash's idiot friends. Or sheep, as Peter liked to call them. He didn't even know this kid's name.

Peter almost lost all of his resolve right there, the now angry tears threatening to make themselves known as his eyes moved to his teacher. She was staring at him, mouth hanging open for a few seconds before she was speaking.

"Up you get. Put them in the bin and return to your seat." Did she not even care that he'd been purposely tripped?

Peter didn't know why he was asking himself that question. Flash had been getting away with plenty since he started bullying Peter, everything that happen in classes could have easily passed as an accident, much like this. But it was okay. It was okay, because it was him instead of Ned. 

He did as he was told, gathering the pieces of paper that had been used to annoy him and tossing them into the bin with much more force than necessary, almost smacking his head against the wall from the force of his own arm. He didn't miss the second round of sniggers as he did so, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as he told himself to remain calm. He was going to the compound after school, he had something to look forward to at least. He had to keep reminding himself of that to keep himself sane.

Peter didn't want to think about how much this day was similar to the one where he almost broke the school doors and Flash's arm.

He'd rather not think about that.

He must have been standing there longer than he thought because before he knew it, a hand was resting on his shoulder. He jumped away, cursing himself repetitively as he flinched way to hard for it not to be noticeable. That feeling of wanting to bawl his eyes out was creeping up on him, the anger mixing with humiliation which just caused one big shit storm inside of his head. He was going crazy, wasn't he?

"Can I go to the bathroom?" He suddenly asked, ignoring the now worried eyes of his teacher. He had to remind himself that she didn't care.

"Yes, Peter." She nodded as she spoke, and Peter was out of there before she could even turn around. He hurried down the hall, refusing to let the angry-humiliated tears let themselves become free as he made his way to the closest boy's bathroom. It didn't take him long, his hands coming to meet with the door as he pushed it open. He tried to control himself, he really did, but of course his strength went out of hand and the door swung away far too fast for it to be normal.

But for once, his reflexes kicked in, and he saved the wall from getting a door handle-sized dent in it.

Once making sure that there was no one inside of the bathroom, he collapsed onto the floor beneath one of the sinks. He breathed heavily, trying to calm his heart rate down as he felt himself falling into a panic attack. He couldn't afford to have one now, he couldn't. He had to pretend like everything was fine. He could go home and cry about it later.

But his emotions didn't seem to want to let him do that. 

And what did that do?

It made him even angrier.

He clenched his fists, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to to scream. Everything was just crashing down around him. People knew Spider-Man was a kid, they knew that their city was being protected by a child. They knew that Spider-Man was somehow involved with Tony Stark, which they would have been stupid not to realise that already. Why couldn't Peter just be happy for once? Why couldn't Flash leave him alone so he could get around school without looking over his shoulder constantly, while also trying to rely on his senses. Why couldn't he walk around like everyone else without anything to worry about?

Why did he have to get bitten by that fucking spider?

The tears were coming, fast, and Peter had no idea how to stop them. He was breaking down, he knew it full well, but he didn't want to admit it to himself. He was on the verge of a panic attack, but he couldn't let himself go over the edge. He was fine, he had to be. He was Spider-Man.

But Spider-Man was just a kid.

He needed Tony.

Peter picked himself up off of the floor so suddenly his stomach lurched, his sensitive ears hearing footsteps approaching the boy's bathroom. He hurtled himself into one of the stalls, locking it before closing the toilet seat and sitting on top of it. He leant forwards, putting a hand over his mouth as the tears began to burn at his eyelids, resulting in him screwing his eyes closed and praying that no one was going to come in. 

He could feel the sobs wanting to make their way up his throat, but he couldn't let them reach the surface. Not now, not here, not ever. He could handle it, he always did.

But he needed Tony to be here.

To Peter's horror, the boy's bathroom door opened and those footsteps entered the room. Peter clamped his hand tighter over his mouth, holding his breath as the person did their business, silently thanking everything he knew that it wasn't someone looking for him. He breathed out shakily, trying to keep as quiet as possible as the person began to wash their hands, humming something under their breath. Peter didn't want to know who was there, that would just make everything he was feeling worse.

Then finally, the person was exiting the room and Peter could sag down in relief. That relief was only short lived when a sob began to surge up his throat, the tears bursting over his eyelids and running down his cheeks as everything came crashing down on top of him. That sob made it out his mouth much to Peter's discomfort, his whole body shaking as the sound left his mouth. His breathing was beginning to shorten, and the panic was really beginning to set in. 

He needed Tony.

That thought alone was enough for Peter to reach for his back pocket, his hand shaking so much he almost dropped his phone when he pulled it out. He turned it on, not wanting to see his reflection in the dark screen any longer as another sob echoed around the room. He was hoping nobody nearby would be able to hear him, knowing that he would be teased for the rest of his high school life if Flash or one of his friends found him here. He couldn't handle the thought right now, his hands beginning to shake even more as the half-moons in his palms began to disappear.

He scrolled through his contacts, finally finding the one he was looking for and pressed call with even hesitating. If he was in his right mind, he would have thought about it for at least ten minutes before pressing that call button. But right now, he didn't care, he needed Tony and he needed him to be there now. The thought didn't even occur to him that he may be in a meeting or down in the lab doing something important, though he knew if it did he wouldn't care.

He was growing angry again, the despair mixing with the frustration and just creating a big mess. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. That would definitely draw attention to him.

_Tony Stark will not be taking calls at the moment._

Peter swear his heart cracked. He needed Tony to be here, he had to come and get him. Peter pressed call again, wishing for a different result. But when all he received was that same, automated message, he threw his phone. He didn't realise until he heard it smash, the pieces falling onto the floor after colliding with the stall door.

He'd just destroyed his phone.

Now Peter really wanted to scream. The tears began to fall at full force, his eyes focused completely on the pieces of his phone strewn out across the dirty bathroom tiles. He'd destroyed his phone. The phone May had gotten him for his fourteenth birthday, he'd destroyed it. He had let the anger take over, and he knew he used some of his super strength without meaning to.

This was all Flash's fucking fault.

Peter began to gather himself, wiping his face with frustration before leaning down to gather the pieces of what used to be his phone. He shakily unlocked his stall door, making sure that there was no one around before exiting the only place he had felt safe in this entire school. He deposited his phone pieces into the bin, forcing the sob down as he did so. He had to get out of here, he had to find Tony. But, when he didn't know where Tony was...

The compound. He could go to the compound. Maybe Pepper would be there? Tony had let him know that Pepper would be staying for a few days, which Peter had been excited about. He had grown closer to his mentor's fiancé, and she was really nice to be around. Peter liked her, maybe he could tell her what happened?

He let that thought consume him as he looked at himself in the mirror, resisting the urge to punch his reflection before turning away. He looked hideous.

He had to get out of there.

His suit was in his backpack, which he had left in his class. Oh, god, what if people had started looking through it? What if they found out that he was the kid who was running around saving people in Queens? What if Ned couldn't stop them, what if-

He had to get that backpack.

He breathed in sharply before pulling the bathroom door open, making sure not to break it as he forced his legs to move him out of the small space. He moved down the hallway in the direction of his English classroom, pausing beside the door for a few seconds. He was still crying, he could feel the sobs coming, he knew Flash would torment him forever when he saw him like this. 

But he needed his suit.

With that thought, he yanked the door open and made his way to his desk, keeping his head down as he neared his backpack, which was still sitting abandoned on the floor. He ignored the way the class fell silent upon his arrival, he ignored the eyes watching his every move. He ignored the snigger that was definitely from Flash. He had to get out.

Ned was silent, but he no doubt knew what was happening. Peter didn't look at his friend, yanking his backpack off of the floor before turning to get out of the classroom as fast as he could. As soon as his teacher started to protest, he walked faster. The more she spoke, the more the sobs rose in his throat. He couldn't let them out in front of his entire English class, crying in front of them was as bad as it was. He couldn't embarrass himself more than he already had.

"Peter, is everything al-"

"I need to go!" Peter almost yelled, clenching his fists and reopening the half-moons in his palms as he made his way to the door. He didn't stop, yanking the thing open from where it had swung shut upon his arrival. He moved down the hallway as fast as he could, ignoring the stares from other classrooms as he got closer and closer to the exit. Finally, after what felt like years, he made it, pushing the doors open with less force than he would have liked.

He needed to let his anger out somehow, but not on the school doors. He couldn't damage them even more than he already had.

He made his way over to his usual alleyway as fast as he could, the angry sobs now freely leaving his mouth as the tears never seemed to stop flowing. He stripped down as fast as he could, actually screaming out in frustration when he accidentally kicked the wall with his bare foot after trying to get his leg out of his pant leg way faster than he could. He could feel the graze, but he refrained from looking as he rifled through his backpack for his suit.

He pulled the thing out, and just from looking at him he instantly felt safer. Tony had tried to make him use the Iron Spider suit, but Peter could find it within himself to like it. So instead, Tony repaired his normal suit and let him go out as per usual, even if he'd only been out once since he'd been shot. The Iron Spider didn't make him feel safe like his current suit, which was a bit strange to think about when the Iron Spider suit would most likely be bullet-proof. 

Pushing those thoughts away, his mind wandered to other areas of thoughts. Maybe he could get Karen to call F.R.I.D.A.Y. so she could call Tony or Pepper? Or even James Rhodes? He had met the man once, he seemed nice, Tony had given him his number in case of emergencies where the billionaire wasn't available.

He needed someone. He needed Tony, but Tony wasn't there. What was he supposed to do?

He pulled on his suit, shoving the mask over his face while pressing his spider chest piece. Almost immediately, Karen's voice filled his ears. She sounded worried, if an Artificial Intelligence could even sound like that. "Welcome back, Peter. Is everything alright? I am detecting multiple-"

"H-Hey Karen, I'm f-fine." Peter hated himself for stuttering. His AI wasn't having it.

"You are not fine, Peter. I am detecting-" 

"Yes Karen, I know!" Peter nearly screamed, shooting his webs out to one of the buildings closest to him. He yanked himself up off of the ground and onto the roof of that building, not pausing to take a look at his school as he shot out another web. Before he knew it, he was swinging through the city in the direction of the compound. He didn't know how he was going to get there, but he was going to. He had to. "Can you c-call Tony?"

"I can do that." Karen said to him, her voice now soothing before she fell silent. Peter didn't have time to wonder how Tony made his AI's sound so... human. Before he knew it, Karen was reporting back to him, repeating those same words Peter had heard himself. "Tony Stark is not taking calls at the moment." 

Peter wanted to scream even more.

"Can't you c-call F.R.I.D.A.Y?" He almost whispered, his voice breathless from both his distress and the sudden physical activity. "Can't s-she get to Mr. Stark?"

"I will try." Silence fell over them again as Peter swung in the general direction of the compound. The tears were still flowing, though he was barely paying any attention to them as he waited for Karen to report back to him. It only took a few minutes, but it felt like years to him. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. has been programmed to not take calls while Mr. Stark is in a meeting. I am sorry, Peter. Is there anybody else you would like me to call and alert of your distress?"

"P-Pepper Potts."

"Calling Pepper Potts." Silence fell over the two as Karen rung Pepper, a little picture of her appearing in the side of Peter's vision as the rings continued. "I am sorry, Peter, but it seems to be that Pepper Potts is not taking calls at the moment, either. Is there anybody else you would like me to call and alert of your distress?"

"U-um..." Peter whispered, cursing when he almost hit a building. "Um.. Rhodey?"

"Calling James Rhodes." A little picture of Tony's best friend appeared in turn of Pepper's, the rings echoing around him as the call continued. "I am sorry, Peter, but James Rhodes seems to have not answered his phone. Would you like me to try again?"

"N-No. It's okay. Can you get me directions to the Avengers C-Compund?" Peter asked, feeling dread rise in his stomach. No one was answering their phones, he was alone on this one. Well, he had Karen, but she could do just as much as he could. He was stranded.

"Of course, Peter." Just seconds later, directions to the compound appeared in Peter's vision. "Time until destination is around thirty-five minutes. Are you sure you want to do this? I can try calling James Rhodes again."

"No, Karen, it's okay." Peter whispered, before launching himself in the direction the maps told him to go. 

About twenty minutes in, he was tired, but he wasn't going to stop now. "Hey, Karen, could you try calling R-Rhodey again?" He wasn't crying anymore, but his voice was still wavering and the anger was still fresh in his mind. He still felt the urge to cry, though he pushed it down as he solely focused on making his way to the compound. He almost wished the Avengers were still together, and that he could have become friends with them. Maybe one of them would have been there.

He knew he didn't want anyone other than Tony, but he wasn't about to admit that. He wasn't about to admit that he thought of his mentor in the same way he felt about Uncle Ben before he died. How he thought of him as a father.

He pushed that thought away as Karen called Rhodey for a second time. He didn't pick up.

Peter sighed, heaving himself in the direction of the compound. It only took another five minutes for the building to come into view, and another ten for him to reach it. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of it, wondering how he was going to get in. He always had Happy or Tony with him when he's come after school, he'd never come by himself before.

He could feel that numb feeling that he had felt all those weeks ago returning, providing him with a break from the anger and the crying. He had to get into the compound, he couldn't start crying about it on the outskirts of one of the most protected buildings in the world. 

"Karen, how can I get in?" Peter asked, chewing his lip hesitantly.

"I alerted F.R.I.D.A.Y. upon your arrival when you asked for the coordinates to the Avengers Compound." Karen replied, and Peter almost sighed in relief. "She would have alerted anyone currently inside of the Avengers Compound of your arrival. Though, you have already seemed to have tripped the sensors."

"What does that mean?" Peter asked, feeling the worry swirling around his stomach.

"Whoever is inside the compound should be coming to check out what tripped the sensors. I believe the Falcon had a fight with the Ant Man due to these sensors?" Peter remembered Tony vaguely telling him about that during one of their many times down in the lab. "Whoever is inside the compound should be here in approximately ten seconds."

"Do you know who it is?" He asked again, wondering if any of the rogue Avengers had returned without his notice. 

Though, his ten seconds seemed to be up, because before he knew it he could hear the familiar sounds of an Iron Man suit. He looked up into the sky, seeing non-other than War Machine himself, or Rhodey, coming towards the ground just in front of him. For one fleeting second, Peter had hoped it was Tony. But when he saw that grey suit, he knew it wasn't. 

He had jumped when the suit landed in front of him, the ground shaking as his spider sense alerted him. The faceplate of the suit moved back, and soon he was staring into the face of James Rhodes himself.

"Are you the one whose been calling me?" He asked, staring down at Peter skeptically. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me you would be coming. It's Peter, right?"

"Yeah." Peter mumbled, feeling his resolve beginning to crack. He didn't take off his mask, not wanting the man to see his most likely horrendous-looking face. "Where's Mr. Stark?"

"He's in a meeting." Rhodey replied, his look hardening. "Is everything alright, kid? You're meant to be at school, aren't you?"

"Yeah." He mumbled again, hands fiddling with each other as he adverted his gaze to the ground. Rhodey knew he was Spider-Man, but he still didn't want to take the mask off. Anyone could be lurking around the outside of the compound, even though that might actually be impossible. Though Rhodey seemed to notice his hesitance, his gaze if not softening anymore. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, kid." Rhodey replied, before the garage doors were already opening. Rhodey gestured for him to go in that way, being it was the only way Peter had entered the compound like, ever. "I'll meet you in the middle, yeah?"

"Okay." Peter flinched when Rhodey took off, before hurriedly moving in the direction of the garage. He shuffled inside, still chewing his lip as he made his way to the lifts.

When he went inside, he finally took off his mask. He squeezed the thing in his hand as F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s familiar voice filled his ears. "Welcome back, young Peter. Where would you like me to take you?"

"Middle floor." He still didn't know what that floor was called, but F.R.I.D.A.Y. seemed to understand. 

"Of course." Silence took over, and Peter felt the tears returning. He needed Tony to just be here, he didn't know Rhodey all that well and he was unsure. It didn't take long for the lift to reach the middle floor, his body jumping when the ding rung around him. He ignored it all and left the lift, already seeing Rhodey standing there and waiting for him. Peter could now see his leg braces, and his heart ached for the man. He ignored his thoughts and continued walking, ignoring the tears building back up in his eyes.

"Do you want me to get Tony for you?" Rhodey asked, a hand resting on Peter's right shoulder. Peter almost sighed in relief when it wasn't his left, Rhodey seeming to know what had happened. Well, who wouldn't know what had happened to Spider-Man while trying to stop a burglary? "He would leave his meeting in a heartbeat, y'know."

"No, I d-don't want to disturb him." Peter mumbled, the hand on his shoulder tightening as he spoke.

"Kid, you wouldn't be disturbing him. I'm pretty sure you'd be saving him." Rhodey sounded like he was smiling, but Peter didn't want to look up and see for himself. If he did, he knew he would break down. "Are you sure you don't want me to get him? He'll be in there for another two hours."

Peter thought about it. "It's f-fine. Can I just.. watch m-movies or something until he's finished?" 

"Alright." Rhodey seemed hesitant. "I'm guessing you already know how to control the TV, so go ahead. If you need me just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to come get me."

"Okay. Thank you."

"You have nothing to thank me for." 

Peter smiled weakly, before Rhodey let go of him and he was walking in the direction of the large living room. He sat down on the couch, grabbing the remote and began scrolling through the movies. The tears had begun to run down his face again, though he ignored them as he looked for an interesting movie to watch. The anger had subsided greatly, and all he had left was the sadness. All he wanted was to just be down in the lab with Tony like nothing had even happened.

But of course, nothing in Peter's life went how he wanted it to.

So, he ended up programming the TV to play Lord of the Rings, laying down across the couch and using the armrest as a pillow. He was unable to concentrate on the movie since it began, his eyes drooping as sleep threatened to take over him. Swinging his way all the way to the compound was pretty exhausting, and Peter swore his muscles were now non-existent. Maybe he should have waited until the end of school so Happy could have picked him up?

Though, that thought was gone with the wind when his mind and body shut down, sleep taking over and dragging him down into it's clutches.

It felt like he had been asleep for only a minute before someone was touching his head, running their hand through his hair like May usually did when he was upset. He didn't want to open his eyes, his head aching from all the crying he had been doing. Where was he again?

The compound. He'd ran from school to the Avengers compound. He had been looking for Tony, but Tony was in a meeting. He ended up with James Rhodes instead, after tripping the sensors at the compound. Who was running their hand through his hair?

"Pete, you awake?" Tony's voice.

Peter blearily opened his eyes, wincing at the harsh light shining in from the windows around him. He was still in his suit, his mask still clenched in his hand as he took in his surroundings. He could see Pepper standing behind Tony, a worried look on her face as Rhodey stood on her other side. His eyes were warm, comforting but worried. Then Peter's eyes moved to Tony, whose face was blank.

"H-How long was I asleep?" Peter mumbled, letting go of his mask to wipe the sleep from his eyes. 

"Three hours." Rhodey spoke up, and Peter felt his eyes bulge. He swore it had only been a minute. 

"I need you to tell me what happened, kid." Tony asked, his blank expression breaking into one of concern. "Why didn't you want Rhodey to come and get me? You know I would have come."

"You were busy." Peter mumbled, adverting his eyes from Tony's. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, I shouldn't have ditched school."

"Why did you ditch school? That's unlike you, kid." Tony asked, though he didn't sound angry. He sounded more confused than angry, which made Peter confused and embarrassed. He could feel the tears coming, and he wondered if he was ever going to stop crying. He was such a baby. "Was that idiot- Flash annoying you again?"

Peter sighed, not bringing his eyes back to meet Mr. Stark's. "He's always annoying me."

"God, kid, if you would freaking let me- okay. What was he doing?" Peter still didn't look up, letting the tears fall without hesitation. He was too tired to care, too tired to control his feelings as his mentor kept his hand moving through Peter's hair. That was unlike Tony- he wasn't really one for affection. Peter knew that as soon as his hug was rejected in the car after fighting with Captain America. But things seemed to have changed. "It must have been bad for you to swing all the way here, which, I don't approve of but that's beside the point."

"He was throwing paper at me." Peter mumbled, cringing at how childish he was sounding. Quickly, he kept talking to redeem himself. "When I was cleaning it up o-one of his friends tripped me. It's no big deal- I just- I don't know. People know Spider-Man is a kid, and I've dragged you into it."

"I'm going to personally smack that kid on both sides of his face one day." Tony mumbled, "And Peter, don't worry about me. Or the media, they're vultures."

"I'm angry all the time." Peter mumbled, sighing before closing his eyes and pressing into the armrest. Tony's hand paused in his hair for a few seconds, before staring back up again a few seconds later. "Sorry."

"Don't." Tony pretty much snapped, though Peter didn't really care anymore. "How's about you get out of that suit, have a shower and get some more rest? I'll let May know what's happening. Do you want her to come pick you up?"

"No." Peter mumbled, ignoring the way more tears burned behind his eyelids at the thought of going back to the apartment right now. "Wanna stay here."

"Alright. Go have a shower."

"Okay."

Peter forced his sore muscles to work, pushing himself up off of the couch with a wince. Before he could make his way to the bathroom, Tony was gripping onto his wrist and pulling him back towards him. Peter nearly choked on his spit when Tony pulled him in for a hug, sighing into the top of his head as if he had no idea what to do with him. Peter supposed it was most likely that exact thought, but ignored it and let himself relish in the comfort.

"You'll be alright, kid." Tony mumbled, Peter burying his face in his mentor's shoulder as he spoke. "If they pull one more stunt like that, I'm not hesitating to go speak to that school."

Peter didn't doubt that he would. Despite how much he wished he wouldn't, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop Tony if he tried.

"Go have a shower." Tony pulled away, and Peter found himself wanting more of the comfort. But he knew how Tony felt about affection, so he hesitantly moved away and in the direction of the bathroom. He noticed the way Pepper was looking at him, her eyes resembling love and surprise mixed together, a soft smile on her face as Peter caught her eye. Pepper, in a way, reminded him of May, which made him smile wobbly and tearfully back before he turned around.

As he was moving down the hallway, he didn't miss what Rhodey said next. "I'm having a hard time believing he's not your kid, Tony."

"Shut up, Rhodey."

Peter grinned, and for once, his tears slowed to a stop and a glint of hope replaced his sadness.

Thank god for his enhanced hearing, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly all the love i've been receiving for this fic is amazing, and non of you truly know how big i smile whenever i see a new comment in my inbox! i fucking love everyone who's been commenting, your comments is what made me power through this third chapter.
> 
> ALSO i have an important question  
> am i the only one who doesn't really like the idea of peter and michelle as a couple? like i really try to like them together, but i can't see it. i see it as more friends, if you catch my drift.
> 
> anyways i'll stop talking bc i'm annoying. thanks again for reading!


	4. The Day Before the Field Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!  
> 1\. i'm very sorry for the longer wait, i had a lot of trouble writing this. i found myself deleting and re-writing this over and over again until i found something that i liked lmao
> 
> 2\. i'm not sure if this is that good, but i tried, and i'm sorrryyy
> 
> 3\. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KUDOS AND YOUR COMMENTS YOUR SUPPORT IS A M A Z I N G
> 
> somehow this also go to just over 5,000 words, which i wasn't expecting at all.   
> sooo i hope you all enjoy this ahh
> 
> this also steers away from canon so be aware of that, and i also haven't really edited it bc i really can't be bothered rn

Peter was feeling strange.

It was the day before his field trip, and half way through his Chemistry class, when his spider sense began to go off. It was a dull hum in the back of his head, telling him that something was happening but he wasn't in immediate danger. The hairs on his arms and the back of his neck began to stick up, Peter thanking the God's above that he was wearing a hoodie so the people around him couldn't see his weird abnormalities. It felt like his senses were alerting him of something far, far away, which had never happened to him before. When he was on patrols, the feeling would be immediate and alerting him that danger was coming for him right at that second. But this time, it just felt distant.

When they had first begun to alert him, he had looked for every possible danger in his Chemistry class room he could find. Was someone going to explode the classroom? Was Flash going to pelt him with more paper? Was the school going to get shot down? He was overreacting, he had to be. Maybe his senses were just being faulty or something? Or maybe somebody in the city needed his help?

But he wasn't Spider-Man right now, so he couldn't.

When he had deemed the room safe of danger, he let himself rest at some sort of ease as he continued to listen to his teacher drone on about whatever they had been learning. He had't really been paying attention in class much anymore, and he knew it was going to affect his grades, but he physically couldn't anymore. He was too busy worrying about things, worrying about May and worrying about Tony. He had ended up zoning out his teacher, leaning on his elbow as he looked out the window. Maybe the threat was outside?

He had to stop. It was just his senses playing up, everything was fine. He had never felt this feeling before, meaning that it was most likely just a false alarm. But the dull humming in the back of his head began to get on his nerves, his forehead blossoming with pain as his senses drilled away at him. Despite it being dull and annoying, it was still causing his head to hurt. 

It was the same feeling he got when something was about to happen, like if a burglar was about to punch him in the side of the head or shot at him with a gun while he was on patrol. But instead of being right in the front of his mind and piercing, it felt far away and distant. He had already decided he wasn't going to tell Tony, despite the fact that he was spending his Thursday afternoon and night with the billionaire, since May was out of the state. She had deemed that Peter stay with Tony, despite the fact that Peter could stay at the apartment and look after himself. He wasn't complaining, though.

Though he missed her, he couldn't let it kill his mood. He had to keep up his good-mood streak. It had been going for exactly... a week, maybe?

Well, he had been in a relatively good mood until his spider sense decided to continuously alert him of something that wasn't even there. There was no danger for him to run from, at least, not anything he could see. It must not be too bad if it felt so distant, so maybe his senses were playing up or something? Maybe it was just the stress and anger he was feeling? Maybe Flash was feeling particular annoying today and was going to begin pelting him with scrunched up paper?

This seemed to be his entire thought train as he moved through school that day, ignoring Ned and MJ's questions as he did so. They didn't need to worry about him, he was fine, and he was sure MJ didn't know about his Spider-Man adventures anyways. He hoped she didn't know, he knew she was persistent. This was Spider-Man's issues, not Peter Parker's. As far as everyone but Ned knew, he was just a normal nerd who couldn't stand up for himself.

If only they knew.

If only he could show them.

These thoughts continued to spiral throughout his head the entire day, soon finding himself waiting for Happy at the front of the school. He stood there, permission slip in hand while nursing his already healing wrist from where Flash had shoved him into the lockers before he could escape at the end of the day. He had somehow cut himself on the metal, and it hurt, but it was healing. He would be fine. It would most likely be healed before Happy even arrived at the school, and he could hide it with his sleeves anyways. It took him another fifteen minutes, which was unusual for the man, the sleek black car pulling up on the sidewalk as the last of Peter's cut healed. 

He almost launched himself to the car, wanting to get out of the school as fast as possible. He ignored the stares from the few people left at the school, who were mostly the nerds. He was in that category, yeah, but he didn't hang out with them. He knew they all secretly hated him, too. 

He murmured a hello to Happy as he put his back on the floor between his legs, sliding his permission slip into it as he did so. After zipping up his back, he leant back and looked at the roof of the car for a solid five minutes.

He and Happy didn't talk much during the ride to the Avengers Compound. Peter kept to himself, leaning his hot forehead against the cold window as his senses buzzed in the background, still humming and telling him that something was happening. It was becoming annoying now, his ears beginning to ache from the sounds around him. Everything was beginning to feel much louder, and his head hurt even more than it had before, but he didn't want to think too hard on it. 

It was as if the hairs on the back of his neck were always on end, constantly warning him of danger and never missing a beat. Had Peter gotten bitten by another radioactive spider? Was he getting sick?

Psh, yeah right. He hadn't gotten sick since before the spider bite.

Peter sighed, closing his eyes and clenching his fists. Happy surprisingly didn't comment on his quietness, Peter having a feeling that the man knew exactly what had been going on for the last month and a half. Peter had been a complete, and utter train wreck ever since he almost broke those fucking school doors.

God, he was an idiot. If he hadn't have blown up like that, he would have been completely fine, and his senses wouldn't be alerting him of danger that wasn't even there.

After a long half an hour of leaning against the window with his eyes closed as he thought about the many possibilities that could be setting off his senses. It was almost like it was in the back of his head, sitting there like a tumour and just waiting to ruin his life. He didn't really like that example nor the thought of his life being ruined for the thousandth time, breathing in so deeply he almost choked on the air.

When they finally reached the compound, Happy was speaking. "You're acting strange, kid. Everything alright?"

"I'm fine, Happy." Peter mumbled, before getting out of the car. "Thanks for driving me."

He closed the door, ignoring the man as he too got out of the car and followed behind him as he made his way to the lab. When he walked into the said lab, his spider sense suddenly spiked up and something was definitely coming for him now. What he wasn't expecting was one of the Iron Man's hand's to come flying at his face at full speed. He ducked just in time, breathing a sigh of relief when the thing turned around abruptly and went surging in the other direction.

In the middle of this, was Tony Stark. He looked mildly horrified at what had just happened, to say the least. His eyes were wide as the armor snapped onto his right hand, the thing curling over his hand as Peter was left in a state of shock for a few seconds. He had almost gotten knocked out by his mentor's own suit. Wow.

Eventually, as the minor heart attack faded away, his spider sense returned to that dull and annoying feeling in the back of his skull. Why did he feel like this? He had never felt something like this before, and why was he only feeling it now? Was he going to die or something? Was his senses warning him of his possible upcoming death? Was he going to swing into a truck and kill himself tomorrow on his patrols the next day?

Those thoughts didn't make Peter feel any better. Sighing, he dropped his defensive stance and wondered what was going to happen next.

Peter had merely blinked before Tony's face was in his vision and hands were coming up onto his face. His head was being moved in all directions as if his mentor was looking for injury, his eyes wide and horrified with what had just occurred. Peter knew if Rhodey were here, Tony would get teased for his overreactions and get called a 'helicopter parent'. Tony didn't know Peter heard that entire conversation, and he had found himself smiling about it later. The thought made Peter want to smile just then, but he found himself unable to.

Instead, he acted annoyed, pulling his face out of Tony's grip and sighed. "I'm fine, it didn't hit me. You saw that. What are you doing?"

Peter looked around the lab, only now just noticing the complete mess it was in. There was parts strewn across the floor, a hole in the wall of all places, a tipped over desk and a Iron Man suit standing in the middle of it. 

The hand had peeled away from Tony's real hand somewhere during his panic, assembling one of Tony's older suits which was watching over at them. Peter stared at it for a few seconds, raising his eyebrows at the thing which stared right back. Creepy.

"Jesus Christ, kid, I think a few ten years just got shaved off of my life." Peter smiled tightly, wanting to laugh but couldn't. "I was just playing around. Didn't see you two entering the lab."

"Why do you need that when you have the nanotech suit?" Peter asked, pointing over to the suit which hadn't moved. Though it was on and still staring. He forced the humming of his spider sense to the back of his mind for a later worry, focusing on what his mentor had been doing to completely destroy his lab. "When can I see it?"

"Soon. Just be patient." Tony was grinning, though, and Peter knew he wouldn't be seeing that suit for a while. All he had seen was the contraption like the arc reactor, which sat in the same spot the older technology had been. For some reason, Tony wouldn't let him see the nanotech suit, and all Peter wanted to know was why. "Why don't you make you web fluid? I have to clean up this place and then-"

"Yes, Mr. Stark." Peter cut the man off, moving away from him and in the direction of his smaller workbench. Tony had installed it not long after the Vulture incident, insisting that he didn't have to make his web fluid at school anymore. Somehow, it was the only thing in the lab that wasn't trashed. Peter was grateful for not having to worry about getting caught in class anymore, which had been a big weight lifted off of his shoulders. 

"Call me Tony, Jesus Christ, kid." Tony grumbled, Peter not missing the look that was shared between Tony and Happy. "Stop alternating between the two, it's very disheartening."

"Mr. Stark." Peter said for good measure, managing to smile to himself for a second time.

"How's about I call you Mr. Parker? Or Spider-Baby?"

"No." 

"Whatever, Spider-Baby."

Peter grumbled, dropping his bag beside the desk and slumped into his chair. He leant on both elbows, massaging his forehead and then the back of his head with a barely audible groan. He threw his arms down, leaning back in the chair as he looked at his desk, not knowing where to start, not really wanting to start at all. His brain was fuzzy, he had enough web fluid stored up to last him at least a month, and all he wanted to do was sleep off the his weird, acting up spider senses. Maybe he actually was getting sick?

"Something bothering you?" Tony's voice made him jump, Peter furrowing his eyebrows and rubbing at his ears. Why was Tony yelling? "You're a bit jumpy, aren't you?"

"I'm fine." Peter mumbled, getting himself ready to make some more web fluid despite knowing he had more enough. He needed something to distract himself.

"No you're not. I can tell when somethings pissing you off. Has that Flash kid been bothering you again? Will you finally let me castrate him?" Tony sounded as if he were ranting but joking with him at the same time. "Come on, Underoos, when can I get that little shit in trouble?"

"Never." Peter nearly snapped, snapping his goggles over his face. It hurt a lot more than it usually would, but he ignored that thought and continued to concentrate. "There's nothing wrong. Just a bit of a headache..."

"It's more than that." Tony clapped back, his voice still sounding rather loud. "Believe me, kid, I did the same thing."

"What?"

"Bottled things up. Hell, I still do." Tony's joking tone had thinned out, and now he seemed too serious for Peter's liking. "I don't want you going down the same road I did."

Peter couldn't help but feel a little insulted, but kept that thought to himself as he leant back in his chair, resisting the urge to throw his head down on the desk so his senses would focus on something else. It was becoming more and more annoying as the seconds past, the non-existent danger constantly setting off alerts in his entire body. Why could he have a nice day for once? His life had been a shit storm since the Vulture dropped a building on his body.

"I'm not bottling." Peter snapped, cringing at his rather angry tone. "I said I'm fine."

"And I said you're not. You've been out of it for the last, I don't know, month and a half? I haven't seen happy, non-stop talking Peter for weeks." Tony continued, and Peter knew the man wasn't focussed on whatever he had been doing before Peter and Happy walked in. At the thought of Happy, he looked around the room for the man, but he seemed to have left. Good. "Come on, Peter, just talk to me. I know I'm not so good at this whole comforting thing and that I'm not the first person you'd confide in, but I know you're not doing yourself any good. Believe me, I know." 

"Alright!" Peter snapped, huffing as the frustration burned in his stomach. "Fine!"

"Alright." Tony replied a lot more calmly, staring at Peter so seriously he wanted to crawl into a hall and die. "Let it out, kid. It's only gonna be worse if you don't."

Peter groaned, wiping both hands down his face as the hairs stood up on the back of his neck for no reason. What the hell was wrong with him?

"My spider sense- it's- I don't know!" He almost yelled, throwing his elbows back down on the table with a groan. He took the goggles off, tossing them onto the ground without care as he tried to get a grasp on some words. "It's telling me that there's danger, but there's no danger! It's so- it's so faint like it's far away but I don't know what it means!" 

"Your senses?" Tony questioned, as if he hadn't heard a word Peter had just said. "What do you mean, it's faint? Peter?"

"I don't know!" Peter snapped, feeling the frustrated tears burning in his eyes.

No. He was not going to cry over this. He'd done enough of that.

"Like there's danger, but far away? You think something is coming?" 

Peter paused his frustration to think about it. "I don't know. But it's so annoying I want to tear my hair out-"

Before Peter could finish, there was the familiar rolling of chair wheels across the lab floor, and before he knew it, Tony was sitting in front of him with one elbow on his desk, worry present in his eyes. "I need you to calm down for me, Peter."

It was then when Peter realised he was panting, suddenly feeling so breathless he panicked even more. Peter slumped forwards, turning his chair in Tony's direction as his elbows fell onto his thighs. With his head in his hands, he tried to breath, trying to force himself to calm down as the apparent oncoming danger loomed int he back of his mind. Why was his senses playing up so much? What was wrong with him this time? Maybe Tony was right, and there was something coming? "Peter."

Peter forced himself to breath, inhaling big gulps of air as his body quivered. "That's it, you're doing great. Keep going, you're doing great."

Tony's words played constantly in his mind as he forced his lungs to calm, his throat opening up to let the air back in once again as the panic evened out. Though the panic was fading, his senses warnings were not. "There you go. What does it feel like?"

"I don't k-know. Distant, I guess." Peter mumbled, sighing into his hands. "It's just annoying."

"When did you start feeling like this?" Tony asked, a hand resting on Peter's shoulder as he spoke. "I swear to god if you've been hiding this for weeks..."

"No. It only started around lunch today."

"Oh."

Silence took over the two, and before Peter knew it, he was being ordered to rest. He was taken to the room he had been using since May was away by Pepper, her hand resting on his shoulder as if he were about to topple over at any second. Peter had shamefully flinched when her hand rested on the place he had been shot, the traumatic event still ever so clear in his mind. He didn't miss the regretful look pass over her face, and he certainly didn't miss when she moved around him, setting her hand on his right shoulder instead.

Peter had let it go, not wanting to comment or apologise, focussing on keeping himself, well, focussed. Tony would without fail tell Pepper and May alike what was going on with him, and Peter wished that May wouldn't have to come home just because his mutant powers were faulty. He'd hate to ruin her trip, even if it had to do with business. She didn't know Peter knew it, but they were in need of money. 

He also thought Tony knew about that, too, but he knew the man was unsure what to do about it. Peter didn't blame him.

With that thought, he laid down, despite how much he would rather stay in the lab with Tony. But before he could stop his mind from drifting away, his muscles relaxed and his eyes were closing. Though, during all of this, his senses never eased up. They continued to tell him something was happening, or about to happen, and all Peter wanted to do was sleep it off.

And of course, his spider sense alerting him of danger meshed into his dreams, causing him to wake up screaming almost four hours later.

He didn't really remember what his dream was about, or why he was so terrified, but he knew he needed to see Tony. Peter knew Tony was somehow in his dream, and Peter couldn't help but think something bad had happened to him. Maybe that's what his senses had been warning him about? Maybe they had been warning him about an oncoming death, but not his? Maybe they were telling him about Tony's- oh, god.

This only made him cry harder, causing him to throw his blankets off and pretty much fall out of the bed in his haste. Tears made their way down his cheeks as he made it to his feet, his knees almost buckling several times as he made his way towards the closed door of his bedroom. Why did he feel so distraught? Why was he feeling so... unlike himself?

With a shaky hand, his fingers grasped onto the handle before pulling the door open, his quivering body stumbling into the dimly lit hallway as the tears blurred his vision. His senses still buzzed in the back of his mind, still feeling the same as they had only hours before. But now, it felt more persistent, like the threat was closer to him than it had been previously. This made his panic increase, his breaths becoming even more ragged as he stumbled down the hallway in the direction of Tony's room.

He could vaguely hear F.R.I.D.A.Y. trying to speak to him, but he couldn't understand her as he stumbled over to the door. Before he could reach out and open it, it was opening by itself, and the familiar face of Pepper came into his blurry view. An almost exhausted sob broke free, his knees buckling as he stumbled forwards, trying to reach out for her for a reason he didn't even know. Pepper seemed to know what he was doing, her worried gaze never leaving his until his head was buried in the crook of her neck.

He didn't want to look into their room and see Tony wasn't there. That his dream has become reality. Tony had died, he knew that now.

He could hear Pepper speaking to him, but just like F.R.I.D.A.Y, he couldn't understand what she was saying. He just clung onto her, imagining she were May. He had nothing against Pepper, but May was who he needed right now. If May wasn't available, he'd go to Tony.

But Tony was gone.

Tony was gone when Peter needed him the most.

It was then when someone started prying him away from Pepper's comfort. Peter immediately thought it was a threat, despite his senses staying the exact way they had been when he woke up. He pulled away from the person trying to grab him, turning in Pepper's arms and only just managing to get into a half-assed defensive position. When his eyes cleared, he almost choked on his spit.

Tony was there, staring at him, arms up as if he meant no harm. Relief hit him so suddenly he felt like he was about to topple over, dropping his his defensive stance immediately, letting the tears run free as he panted heavily. There Tony was, standing right in front of him, alive and breathing. He was okay. His dream hadn't been reality, his dream was fake. His senses were just faulty.

"Peter, hey, it's me. It's Tony, and that's Pepper. It was just a nightmare." Nightmare. Peter had had a nightmare, but he still couldn't remember exactly what had happened. All he knew was that something had happened to Tony, and his senses were telling him there was danger somewhere around him. "Underoos?"

"Something's coming." Peter mumbled, feeling his knees giving as his panic subsided. He didn't know what compelled him to say it, but it was out of his mouth before he could retract it. His panic subsided shortly after, leaving him feel faint and exhausted. The tears still ran their tracks down his cheeks as his entire body quivered, his hands shaking the most. "I think something's coming."

"Come on, sit down." Tony set a hand on Peter's shoulder as he spoke, his right shoulder, before gently pushing him back. Peter had been expecting to fall into Pepper, who had been standing behind him, but instead he moved into open space, almost tripping as he did so. He let Tony guide him back, hoping he'd be sitting down soon because he knew his knees were about to give up on him. It felt like it took him centuries to reach the bed, his knees finally buckling as he sat down. The tears continued to fall, the fear looming at the very front of his mind as his senses thrummed in the background.

If the hairs weren't standing up on the back of his neck before, they definitely were now. He was terrified. 

He watched silently as Tony sat down in front of him, the relief coursing through his veins that his mentor wasn't in fact, dead. "Peter. I need you to listen to me, okay?" Tony said to him, his face and eyes dead serious. Peter knew there was an underlying panic beneath the walls that Tony had built, and he knew the man was just trying to keep him calm as well as himself. "Peter? Can you hear me?"

Peter nodded, reaching up to wipe a hand down his sweaty and teary face. 

"Okay. Okay, alright." Tony mumbled, as if he were wondering what to say to him. "Okay."

He heard Pepper mutter something behind him, but Peter couldn't understand what she had said. Whatever she might of said received a glare from Tony, who tore his eyes away from Peter for a few seconds to send that glare in Pepper's direction. Peter said nothing, continuing to stare at his mentor's face. He was alive. He wasn't dead. He was breathing, he was alive.

"Okay, Peter, do you want to talk about what happened in your dream? To make you so..." Tony paused, eyes once again glaring away from Peter's and in Pepper's direction. It was hardly a glance, Tony's eyes back on his before Peter could even think up an excuse. "To make you so worked up?"

Peter continued to stare at him for a few solid seconds before trying to force his mouth to move. "Y-You." 

"Was it about me?" Tony questioned, and Peter swore he could see the little resolve the man had slip away. 

Peter nodded shakily, resisting the urge to launch forwards and hug the billionaire. "You."

"What happened to me?" Tony asked, as if he were picking his words carefully. Peter didn't say anything for another few seconds, moving his eyes away from Tony's as he tried to figure out a way to say it. He didn't get away with avoiding eye contact for long, a finger coming under his chin and forcing him to move his head back in Tony's direction. "Peter?"

"Tony." Peter repeated, not really sure why he was saying his mentor's name. "You- you died."

Peter saw the horror reflect in Tony's eyes before it was gone as soon as it came. "Well, I'm still very much alive, so you don't need to worry about me."

Peter wanted to smile, but he couldn't. Instead, he stared at Tony, the tears still falling and falling and falling. "You told me you think something is coming, do you remember telling me that?"

Peter did. But he had been panicking. Now, it just felt like that same distant warning of danger. "Y-Yes. But I don't t-think s-s-so anymore." Peter chewed his lip, cursing himself for stuttering so much. He was Spider-Man, he was meant to be strong, like Tony. Tony had taken a nuke up into space, for Christ's sake. Tony Stark was strong, he was Iron Man. He'd been through so much more than he ever had, and Peter hardly had anything to cry about. "Panic."

Tony nodded, a warm look passing over his face. "You're thinking a lot, I can see the cogs turning."

Again, Peter waned to smile, but he couldn't. 

"What're you thinking about, Petey?"

Petey was a new one. Tony had never called Peter, Petey. "You."

Tony's eyes softened even more. "Kid, I'm fine. I'm alive, see?" Tony poked him on the knee, a warm but worried smile appearing on his face. "See? Not dust, I'm all good. You have nothing to worry about."

"My s-senses." Peter mumbled, finding the urge to hug Tony arriving more aggressive this time. "They won't stop."

"How's about you get some more sleep, yeah?" Tony continued, standing up and resting his hand back on Peter's right shoulder. "Maybe you're sleep deprived or something. It could be interfering with your spidey sense. Or you're not eating enough."

Peter didn't answer, shuffling up the bed as Tony spoke. He now noticed Pepper was laying down, under the covers, facing them with a worried but sad look in her eye. Peter couldn't really see in the dim light emitting from the lamp, but he knew the woman was worried about him. He didn't deserve to have such amazing people worrying about him. He didn't deserve any of this. 

Before Peter knew it, he was laying down, sandwiched between Tony and Pepper. The tears had momentarily stopped, his mind far too occupied on trying to keep his eyes open and to prevent the dreams from coming back. Tony had gotten out his StarkPad, fiddling with it for a few minutes before discarding it on the bedside table. Peter was unsure what to do when the lights went off, knowing very well he was disrupting the two adults. Despite this, he felt reminded of how he used to sleep between Aunt May and Uncle Ben as a kid after having a nightmare, during situations much like this.

But he was older now, he was a teenager. He wasn't meant to be sleeping in his parent's bed like a six year old.

This made the tears return, his breathing picking up as Tony shifted around beside him. "Come on, come here."

Peter didn't move, staring up at the roof as Tony continued to shift. Though when Tony began to move Peter in his direction, he decided, fuck that. He buried his face into his mentor's chest, wrapping his arms around him as the tears began to run at full force once again. In his dream, Tony had been dead, and he had been so sure it had been reality. But here he was, cuddling with Tony Stark, the man he thought of as his father.

Wow.

Tony was tense, and Peter knew it was because of the contact. He knew Tony wasn't big on hugging, and despite how many times Peter had hugged him, he still knew Tony wasn't comfortable with it. He ignored these thoughts as he willed his tears to stop, willing his senses to stop telling him about the non-existent danger. All he wanted to do was sleep nightmare-free.

"Hey, Pete." Tony whispered after Peter's semi-mental breakdown concluded, his tears pausing yet again as he lay buried in the billionaire's arms. "Are you sure you want to go on that field trip?"

"Yes." Peter mumbled, his words muffled from his face being buried in Tony's chest. "I h-have a permission slip."

"You want me to sign it?" Tony asked, his voice low.

"Please."

It fell silent after that, Peter knew he was drifting off. His eyes were shut, his tears had stopped, the panic had subsided, but his senses were still humming. He sighed deeply, forcing his brain to calm down as he began to fall into the hands of sleep once again.

When he did fall asleep, he had no dreams. There was no more dreams of Tony dying, there were no dreams regarding his senses. He was in a sea of nothingness, which was everything he wanted. For those few hours, he was at peace.

But when he woke up, got ready, ate, got his permission slip signed, had Happy drive him to school, his senses were becoming more and more alarming. But what did he do?

He ignored it.

He got on the bus, sat with Ned, acted like nothing had happened the previous night and that his senses weren't telling him that something was coming.

Not even half an hour later, his senses suddenly began to scream. The hairs stood up on his arms and the back of his neck, telling him that there was danger. That there was actually danger this time, and when Peter looked behind him, he wished he never had.

Because he never would have expected to see the donut-shaped alien spaceship looming over the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i guess?  
> i wasn't originally going to take this fic in this direction, but i figured something out for tony's chapter and i just couldn't resist.  
> and angst is my favourite, so there's that
> 
> i feel like this was poorly written... oh well.
> 
> PLEASE leave some feedback, it's what keeps me writing! as i said i had a lot of trouble with this chapter and i'm glad i can finally post it oof
> 
> thanks for reading!


	5. I Don't Wanna Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not going to say anything about this chap because.. well...
> 
> the only thing i will say is that i changed some of the dialogue and events to fit with my story, so be aware of that. 
> 
> i also think this is very rushed and poorly written, which is sad bc i actually tried really hard and i don't even think it's very accurate. but who cares, right???
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy this emotional rollercoaster.

His senses had been warning him. His senses had been telling him that something was happening far away, that danger was coming. Something had been coming, and now it was here, looming over the city, almost taunting him. They had to be aliens, what else could it be? 

The whole situation just screamed danger. There were aliens. He had known something was wrong, his senses had been telling him that there was something coming for them, but all he had done was ignored it. He'd brushed it off as his body being faulty, he had though he was getting sick. 

This was where that dangerous feeling was coming from, this was what was coming.

He had known, but he hadn't done anything about it. All he had done was cried and thought anything but the truth.

But how could he be prepared for something like this?

Crying was all he felt like doing, but right now, he couldn't. He had to help. He chewed his lip for a few seconds before plastering a brave face over his terrified one, already channeling into his Spider-Man mode. Instead of ignoring it and letting the bus take them to their destination, he turned to Ned, who had been sitting quietly beside him. The boy was completely oblivious to what was going on just outside, as were the rest of the bus. How could they be so clueless?

"Ned.. hey, I need you to cause a distraction." Ned looked at him, then out the window, and his whole face lit up.

Peter wished his friend wasn't so excited about a supposed alien invasion.

"Holy shit.. we're all gonna die! There's a spaceship!" Ned had exclaimed, alerting the entire bus load of kids under a matter of seconds. Peter watched as they all hoarded towards the windows, yelling questions as they looked at the floating donut. Peter took this as his chance, digging through his backpack for his web shooters and his mask. He opened the bus window within a second, moving over to the other side of the bus as his classmates kept yelling in wonder, surprise, and even fear. Peter swore he heard someone mention New York somewhere in there, but he couldn't think about that now. 

He had to find Tony. He would know what was happening, wouldn't he?

He jumped out the window, pulling his mask over his face as the bus continued to move. He swore he heard the bus driver yell something, but everything was too loud and too crazy for him to care about that right now. Before he could think better of it, he launched himself off of the bus and under the bridge, slinging his way into the city. He stopped about halfway, pausing on a roof to throw his clothes off and yank his suit over his body. He had no time to waste, he had to find Tony.

He had heard Tony say something about being out with Pepper, so maybe they were at the park? 

He dumped his bag, ignoring Karen's hello's as he began to sling himself through the city. People yelled at him as he swung past, though he ignored them as he focussed on getting closer to the flying donut. He could hear the sounds of fighting now, and he could now hear the sounds of Tony's suit. Peter wondered for a brief second if he was finally going to see the nanotech suit, but that was wiped clean from his mind when he rounded the corner.

When he saw some alien guy throwing some sort of retractable hammer at his mentor, he almost lost it. Instead of freaking out and taking in the look of the nanotech suit at the same time, Peter launched himself in the direction of the two and threw himself in between the hammer and Tony. He stopped the thing within seconds, his muscles tensing as he pushed back against the large object. 

"Hey man!" He exclaimed to the alien, who looked displeased. Didn't all aliens look displeased?

Peter immediately went to talking, wanting to punch himself in the head repeatedly for the words that came out of his mouth next. "What's up Mr. Stark?"

"Kid, what the hell are you doing here? You're meant to be on your field-" Peter never got to hear the end of the sentence, because before he knew it, he was being hurled across the small courtyard they were in. He was up in an instant, trying his best to fight off the alien as he spoke to Tony.

"What is this guy's problem, Mr. Stark?" Peter questioned, ignoring the fear burning deep in his stomach. 

"Uh, he's from space, he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard."

The way Tony had said it made the situation a little less stressful, but knowing that his senses had been warning him about this since yesterday made his insides curl. He couldn't cry about it now. He was in the middle of a battle, he couldn't sob and cry like a baby like he had done only the night before. So, he continued to talk.

"The suit!"

"I would have liked you to see this when we're not fighting-"

Before Tony could finish, Peter was being grabbed with the alien's technology and being hurled all over the place. Peter felt his insides slosh together as the alien threw him around, his body landing in a heap on the concrete as Tony began to fight back. Peter was up within seconds, managing to grab a taxi with his webs and hurl it at the alien. 

There was a few more seconds of fighting before something came tearing through the battle field, the mere sight of red soaring past Peter and almost sending him off balance. He only got a faint glimpse of the flying object before another alien game into view, Peter watching in mere shock as the thing floated by like a ghost, a bunch of concrete particles swirling underneath it. 

"Kid, that's the wizard, get on it." Tony jumped him out of his daze, his senses and instincts immediately kicking back into gear.

"On it!" He yelled back, ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut as he extended a gut. He launched himself after the wizard, following his seemingly motionless body through the city, right behind the alien. Everything had been going semi-okay before his senses were screaming and a billboard was flying towards him. He had no time to react, immediately getting it with the billboard and landing in a heap on the ground.

His mind didn't register the tone as he hauled himself back up, moving the billboard off of him and extending another web. "Not cool."

He hauled himself after the alien, immediately grabbing the wizard when the mysterious cloak-like object got caught on a light post. He was just about to bring the wizard to safety when a blue beam began to pick him up, sucking him up into the donut-shaped spaceship, Peter along with him.

In a second of panic, Peter latched into a light post and used all the strength in him to keep the wizard from being beamed up. Though his efforts were put to waste as he vaguely saw the alien moving it's hand, the light post underneath him cracking as it was pulled away from the concrete. Fear hit Peter like a truck as he felt his body moving up against all sorts of gravity, his stomach turning to jelly as the wizard faded away from sight.

"Uh, Mr. Stark, I'm being beamed up!" Peter exclaimed through the comms, keeping his voice as level as possible as his muscles turned to jelly.

"Hang on kid." Tony's voice replied, only doing little to comfort him as he got closer and closer to the donut. It wasn't long before he was able to grab onto the thing, the wizard gone from his sights as he scaled up the side of the alien structure. He could feel his lungs begging for air the more he moved, his muscles becoming slow as he tried to edge up the curved wall. He hoped Tony would get there soon, he hoped he would be able to get back to Earth. Maybe he should have stayed on the bus?

No. Tony needed his help, and if Peter hadn't had stopped the hammer, Tony could have been hurt. He couldn't let Tony get hurt.

"Pete, you gotta let go I'm gonna catch you." Tony's voice jumped him out of his thoughts, only just now realising that he was beginning to pant.

"But you said save the wizard?" Peter questioned, still trying to claw his way up the side of the floating donut. "I can't breathe."

"We're too high up you're running out of air." Tony's voice echoed through his suit as he ripped the mask off, trying to get as much air into his lungs as possible. Though he could feel his arms turning to jelly and he could feel his grip on the side of the donut weakening. Black dots danced over his vision as he slowly began to let go, his eyes facing the top of the ship as he managed to utter out a few words.

"That makes sense."

Then he let go.

The rest of the moments afterwards happened in a blur, though the distinct feeling of falling and his senses warning him of immediate danger, something hitting him in the back and then taking him away. Before he knew it, he was on the back of the ship, watching as Earth got further and further away from him as he inhaled the new car smell in the Iron Spider suit. He wished he had have stayed on the bus, murmuring those words to himself as the doors closed around him.

Roaming around an alien spaceship looking for his mentor was the last thing Peter wanted to be doing. The place smelt weird, looked weird, sounded weird. The whole place just screamed danger, his senses becoming dull in the back of his skull once again as he moved throughout the ship, looking and listening for Tony. It didn't really take him long to locate the wizard and the alien, his eyes almost bulging out of his head when he saw what was happening to the wizard.

He looked away immediately, trying not to let his minor, very small fear of needles get the better of him in this crucial moment. They weren't exactly needles, but they seemed to be doing the same thing.

Peter swallowed, focusing on listening. Once again, it didn't take long of him to hear and locate the billionaire. Peter was hovering over the man, using his webs, watching with some sort of curiosity as a clock of some sort moved to float next to Tony. Peter watched as Tony jumped upon it's arrival, raising his repulsers and getting ready for the hit. There was a few moments of silence as Tony stared at the thing before Tony began to speak, and Peter took this as his chance to lower himself down.

"Wow, you're one seriously loyal piece of..." Peter didn't really hear the rest due to his heart pounding in his ears.

"Uh, yeah, speaking of loyalty..." Peter trailed, watching Tony's face as he moved to land on his feet.

Tony looked horrified of his presence.

"What the-"

"I know what you're going to say-"

"You should not be here."

"I was gonna go home-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

"But it was such a long way down and I just thought about-"

"And now I gotta hear it."

The disappointment was rolling off Tony in waves, and Peter could quite literally feel it piercing into his skin and making it's way into his heart. He knew he shouldn't be there, but he couldn't just leave Tony up there in an alien donut. His mind briefly went over to May and Ned, wondering if they were going to be okay or even notice if he was gone. 

Though, he cut his thoughts of and continued to ramble, trying to stop the disappointment from seeping into his bloodstream.

"-and this suit is ridiculously intuitive by the way, so if anything it's kind of your fault that I'm here..." Peter stopped when he saw Tony's expression, immediately knowing that was the wrong thing to say. Even the magical floating cloth moved, as if disgusted with what he had just said.

"What did you just say?"

"I-I take that back and- and now I'm up here in space-"

Tony began stepping forwards, causing Peter to pause his rushed and rambled sentence. "Yeah, right where I didn't want you to be." Before Peter could even get a word in, Tony was continuing. "Don't pretend you've thought this through, this is a one way ticket."

"I did think this through!" Peter pleaded, already knowing he was losing. 

"You couldn't have possibly thought this through."

Peter stopped, bowing his head, only to see the wizard getting probed with the needle-looking objects. They couldn't stand here and argue, they had to save the wizard. He had to save the wizard, just like Tony had told him.

As if noticing Peter's sudden compliance, a hand rested on his shoulder. "Are you senses still telling you that something is coming?"

Peter thought about it for a few seconds. They weren't.

Peter shook his head lamely, knowing exactly what Tony was getting at. "They stopped after I saw the donut. I knew this was coming and I didn't do anything-"

"Peter, there isn't anything you possibly could have done to stop this." Tony said, his voice a harsh whisper. "You're just a kid."

"But I could have said-"

"You did say something. And now we're here. It doesn't look like we'll be going home anytime soon, so we'll just have to deal with it, alright? This isn't your fault, Peter, you can't blame yourself for something like this." Tony continued, the hand tightening on his shoulder. "We'll be back on Earth in no time. Now, c'mon, we've got a situation.

Peter sighed sadly when the comforting had left his shoulder, Tony moving away from him to stand by the ledge. Peter followed, keeping close to Tony as they both collectively took in the scene unfolding beneath him.

Before he knew it, Peter had an idea, and Tony was shooting the ship. He watched as the alien got sucked out to space, only just managing to grab onto the wizard and yank him back into the donut. Peter had been half-horrified, half-ecstatic when literal spider legs spurted out of his new suit, aiding him in bringing the wizard back into the ship. Peter felt happy in that singular moment, despite the situation they were under.

Though, that momentary happiness was gone soon enough, and before he knew it, the wizard now known as Doctor Strange was arguing with Tony, and Tony was arguing right back. Peter heard the name Thanos very briefly, the name doing nothing to trigger any sort of memory. Then New York was mentioned, and Peter soon connected the dots that this Thanos had been the cause of the events in New York.

Even sooner, Tony made him into an Avenger. 

Peter had never been so happy before.

But that was all soon crushed and was the last thing on his mind as they crash-landed the donut onto a planet he soon came to know as Titan. Everything had been confusing up until the point where he sensed that something was coming. 

Bringing himself down from the ceiling, Peter began rambling words he didn't even know until he had said them. 

"Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest and I end up eating one of you, I'm sorry.."

"I don't want to hear another pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip!" Tony replied almost immediately, though Peter couldn't take the time to be amused by the statement because something was actually coming.

"I'm trying to say that something is coming." 

And then it came. There was fighting, there was yelling, there was confusion, and before Peter knew it he was being held at gunpoint. Even faster, whoever had ambushed them realised they hadn't been working with Thanos, and everything had calmed down just a tad. Peter was terrified, if he was honest, sticking close to Tony as he argued with the Starman. Or was it Lordman? Starlord? Peter couldn't really remember, he was too focussed on trying to deflect his terror with words.

Now that he really thought about it, he should have stayed on the bus.

But then Tony would be up there alone, and Peter couldn't handle that. If he had been down on Earth at that very moment, wondering where Tony was and if he had gone up in that ship, he would have been hysterical. Not even twenty-four hours ago, he was sobbing in his mentor's arms after watching him die in one of his dreams. Now, he was up in space, trying to keep a fearless face in front of their new companions.

The girl with the antennae terrified him the most. At first, he had thought she was going to lay eggs in him, but it turned out that she was as innocent as they could get. Though, she still scared him, and he found himself not wanting to be too close.

The other man also scared him. He was tall, buff, obviously not human, and overall scary.

But when he heard him speak, he couldn't help but feel that terror fade just a little.

But then the plan was being formed, he was in his position, and Thanos was coming. Peter knew very little about Thanos still, just that he was the creature who sent the army of aliens to New York all those years ago. He had heard Tony say that he had been thinking about the thing for six years, which did nothing to comfort Peter's nerves. If Tony had been worrying about him for this long, how could he be coping now?

Though he had no time to ask, because a portal was opening and a large creature was walking out of it. Was this Thanos?

Peter felt his senses go haywire, that same feeling he had felt just the day before but amplified by one thousand. Is this what they had been warning him about? Had they been warning him about Thanos? Had his senses somehow known that the alien would be coming for the stones, or whatever was wrapped around Dr. Strange's neck?

Too many questions, so little time.

Maybe when they got out of this he could ask Tony to explain everything to him just a little more, so he could understand exactly what they had been fighting.

But what if they didn't make it out?

He didn't get to elaborate on the thought before the fighting began, and Peter was launched into a battle he hardly knew how to fight. Swallowing his fears and his worry for Tony's safety, he threw himself into the battle and did everything he could to inflict pain on the Titan. Flying through portals would never come easy to Peter, but that was hardly a first world thought as he flew through the air and through those said portals, throwing kicks in Thanos' direction as much as he could, yelling words in between his fighting. He barely knew what he was saying, though he did know it was something about the portal-kicking he was doing.

Though his short-lived glory didn't last very long before Thanos' large and purple hand latched onto him, curling around his neck and sending him into the hard floor. Pain erupted in Peter's back, but that wasn't the first thing in his mind as he stared into the terrifying eyes of Thanos, feeling his own burning in the sheer terror he was feeling.

"Insect." Thanos had spat, causing fear to snake up Peter's spine. Then, he was being lifted up and hurled away from the alien, directly into Dr. Strange. They collapsed in a heap, Peter laying stunned for a few seconds as the fight echoed around him.

There was fire, there was yelling, there was a new alien on the planet who was supposedly on their side. They fought and fought until the purple creature was restrained, the antenna girl landing on his shoulders and immediately putting him into some sort of daze with her powers. Peter found himself wondering how she did that, but his mind was sidetracked by being ordered to get the glove off of the thing's hand.

Peter tried, he tried so hard, and it they were almost there. Tony was there, giving comfort to Peter without even knowing it. Peter found himself suddenly wanting to hide away from everything, to be back in the Compound where everything was deemed safe. If he ever returned back from this, he sure would have some stories to tell Ned. He would go back to only worrying about his Spider-Man duties, looking over his shoulder for Flash and making sure he didn't get himself shot again. 

He couldn't believe he was thinking about such a thing during such horrible conditions, but he couldn't help himself. He had been almost there, he and Tony had almost gotten the gauntlet off of the Titan's purple hand.

Peter was very aware of the Starman speaking with Thanos, demanding where Gamora was. The blue girl had demanded the same thing, and Peter wondered how special this girl must have been. Peter hoped he would get to meet her after all this was over.

But his hopes were crushed within seconds, along with the Starman's resolve. 

Whoever that Gamora girl was, Thanos had killed her. Peter wouldn't get to meet her, and he felt his heart acting for the Starman. 

But then, the Starman was freaking out, and any ounce of a grasp Peter had on the glove was gone. It was yanked from his grasp by Thanos within seconds, and Peter already knew they were going to lose, there was no coming back. Peter saved his companions, very aware of Tony fighting Thanos as the blue girl got back onto her feet.

Peter had only just landed back on the ground when he saw exactly what was happening in front of him. 

Tony was fighting Thanos, his nanotech suit constantly being destroyed and repaired as Thanos ripped his helmet off. Peter found himself useless as he stood on the sidelines, watching as his mentor did everything to inflict pain on the alien. Though, when Tony went to stab Thanos and his wrist was caught, Peter could feel the sheer horror seeping into his stomach before it even happened.

His senses had told him what was about to happen, but he didn't need them to know what he was about to see.

Thanos ripped the knife-like object from Tony's suit, turning it around and sending it right through his mentor's stomach.

Peter choked on his breath, his eyes filling up with tears so fast his head felt fuzzy. He watched as Thanos forced Tony backwards, the billionaire only managing to sit down before Thanos' hand was on his head. Peter felt himself crying, the shock and terror freezing his muscles as he kept completely silent. He knew Thanos was talking to Tony, he could hear it all too well, but he didn't wan to understand what the alien was saying. So, he didn't listen.

Though, his eyes didn't stray from the scene in front of him, his whole body shivering as the tears poured down his face. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening.

Tony wasn't about to die. He couldn't die. Peter needed him. This was just another nightmare, it had to be. Tony wasn't going to die on him, he couldn't. Peter needed him.

Peter must have zoned out, because before he knew it, Thanos was gone.

He was in shock for a few seconds as he watched Tony use whatever was in his suit to patch up his wound, but Peter knew that was only temporary. He was talking to Dr. Strange, and Peter found himself rushing over to Tony before he could even think too hard about it.

Peter let his mask pull away from his face, helping Tony to his feet with quivering muscles as he did so. Tony was looking at him, his eyes looking lost, full of pain. Peter never wanted to see that, he couldn't stand it. He needed Tony to be okay. He was alive, but he knew he wasn't okay.

Tony was reaching forwards, his thumb landing itself on Peter's tear-stained cheek. Peter felt himself shaking more when Tony wiped the tears away, bringing Peter close and into much needed hug. They would get out of this, right? They would make it out. Tony was okay, Peter was okay. Thanos was gone for now, they were okay, right?

But Peter knew that Thanos must have gotten whatever was around Dr. Strange's neck, or else he wouldn't have left so suddenly without killing Tony.

But how could Peter think about that when his mentor and father figure had just been stabbed in front of him?

How could Peter think about anything but that?

He hid in his mentor's hold for only a few minutes, listening to them all talk around him. He didn't know, or want to know, what they were talking about, their voices low and pained. Had they lost?

Peter had thought they'd won by getting rid of Thanos, but now he knew that they may have lost instead.

He had gotten the stone, and now he only needed one more. Where was the last stone?

Peter had finally moved away from Tony, standing off too the side as the man seemed to stare around, hopeless. This continued for a few minutes, before Peter felt it. His senses began to hum, alerting him of oncoming danger. Something was happening.

Or rather, something had just happened.

He let his senses hum in the back of his mind for only minute or so, before he saw it. The girl with the antennae was disappearing right in front of him. Horror filled Peter's bones as he watched the girl turn to some sort of dust in Starman's arms, the substance drifting in the soft wind as they crumbled to the floor. Peter could feel his senses intensifying, but he didn't know why.

Then, the strange man was disappearing. He was turning to dust, much like the girl, whispering a faint word on his lips as he looked at the Starman. "Quill?"

Then he was gone. 

Peter looked to the Starman, or Quill, watching as his face resembled sadness. 

"Steady, Quill." Tony's voice sounded throughout the eerie silence, Peter watching as the Starman's body began to dissolve.

"Oh, man.." Peter could see his skin being replaced with that weird substance, his body fading from existence and the dust fell to the ground, like the human had never been there in the first place. Like he had ceased to exist. Some of it drifted in the soft wind, much like a few seconds ago with the other male.

Peter turned around, eyes resting on Dr. Strange, who was staring at Tony with his eyes resembling grief.

"Tony," He began, Peter feeling his spider senses increasing as the seconds went by. His muscles were beginning to hurt, but he didn't pay to much mind to it as Dr. Strange spoke to Tony. "there was no other way."

And then he was gone.

And then Peter's senses were screaming in his ears, everything was hurting, and Peter found himself crying before he even realised it. "Mr. Stark.."

The name had been an accident, but he couldn't think about it. He couldn't seem to think about anything but Tony, and the fact that his body was flaring with pain and he was loosing the feeling in his legs. "I don't- I don't feel so good."

Peter began stumbling, his senses telling him that something bad was going to happen.

"You're alight." Tony said, and Peter didn't have the time to wonder who he was talking to. Peter, or himself.

"I don't- I don't know what's happening, I don't-" Peter began stumbling forwards, feeling his legs giving out the closer he got to Tony. He could feel the tears beginning to run, his knees buckling as he fell into his mentor's arms, his brain finally coming to terms with what was about to happen to him.

He was going to fade like the rest of them. He was going to die.

He needed Tony.

"I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go, Sir please, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go..." Peter was loosing control of his speech as he pleaded for Tony to save him, his body falling back onto the hard ground as his mentor stared down at him. Peter met his eyes, hating the fact that they were filled with pain. This was because of Peter. He shouldn't have come, he shouldn't have done this to Tony. Tony's pain was because of him.

But Peter needed him.

He could feel the pain fading, he could see the dust from his own body appearing as his legs disappeared. He was going to die.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispered, trying to keep his eyes on Tony's for as long as possible as the pain subsided, his body gradually disappearing and turning to pieces. No matter how much he tried to hold the last contact he had with Tony, his eyes darted up into the orange sky, Tony's comforting touch falling away as his body ceased to exist. As he ceased to exist.

And then, he was gone.

He was floating in the darkness, surrounded by grief and guilt, begging for Tony to save him. He needed Tony to come and save him, to get him out of whatever hell he had been sent to. He was alone, and that was always what it was going to be in the end. He always ended up alone, no matter what.

He felt empty, his body felt like nothing, and he even wondered if he had a body at all.

He was gone.

He was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i guess...  
> please leave some more feedback! just one more angst-filled chapter to go! or maybe, it won't all be angst??!!?!!!!
> 
> okay i found this fanart that reminded me a lot of the first chap, though without them both wearing their suits  
> https://goo.gl/images/Cs6F6m  
> ITS SO CUTE.
> 
> anywayyyyyyys see you on the last chapter i guess, i may have it up in a week or so :)


	6. Night Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! the last chapter
> 
> i was expecting this to take much longer, but i had a sudden burst of inspiration and wrote this 5,000 word chapter, so i really hope you all enjoy the ending i have (i was planning for it to be much sadder, so don't be too mad)
> 
> a lot of this seems a bit rushed, um, and inaccurate, so sorry about that... heh
> 
> i named this chapter after this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV_3Dpw-BRY because i listened to it on repeat while writing this. so listen as you read if you want
> 
> i also added some steve + tony fluff because i needed that um sorry not sorry :')
> 
> enjoyyyy

Returning back to Earth without Peter felt wrong.

Everything felt wrong.

Everything was wrong.

They had failed. No matter what might have gone down on Earth, they had failed, and half the universe was gone. Peter was gone, he had no idea if Pepper, Rhodey or Happy were still alive. Hell, what about the Avengers? He didn't even know if his old friends were alive anymore. Thor? Natasha? Steve?

It was silent on the way back to Earth, the blue girl, Nebula, using Quill's ship to get them back. They didn't talk much to begin with, Tony's entire world falling to pieces the more time passed. He was empty. Peter was gone, and it was all his fault. He didn't know if Pepper was gone, he didn't know if Rhodey was gone. He didn't know if anyone was gone, if anyone was alive. Something must have gone down on Earth for this to happen.

Oh, god.

Vision.

Had Thanos gotten to him?

What were they meant to do now? How were they meant to continue when everything had failed? How could anything return to normal with half of the entire universe gone, along with Thanos still out there? How were they meant to do it?

Countless questions moved through Tony's mind on their way back to Earth, the tears burning in his eyes but never falling. He couldn't cry now, he had to get Peter back. He had to find Pepper, he had to find Rhodey and Happy. He had to make sure that they were okay.

God, he even found himself worrying about Steve. 

When they touched down on Earth, Tony had immediately gotten F.R.I.D.A.Y. to call Pepper. Listening to the rings was harrowing, the tears beginning to build and make themselves known more than before. When the phone rang out, Tony felt dread pool in his stomach. He got F.R.I.D.A.Y. to call her again, and once again, it rung out. No.

The blue girl was sat behind him, watching with worried, black eyes.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, get me news on anything about Thanos you can find." Tony ordered his AI, worry pooling for Pepper and his friends even more as he spoke. "Call Pep again."

"Will do, Boss." There was a few seconds of nothing before news articles came into his view, the word Wakanda sticking out the most. Oh, god, something had gone down at Wakanda, hadn't it? "Calling Pepper Potts."

As the ringing filled his ears again, he turned to the blue girl. "Is there any chance we can get to Wakanda?"

She didn't say a thing, only nodding once. Before he knew it, they were flying, and somehow the girl was getting them to Wakanda. The tears burned in his eyes when Pepper didn't pick up the next four times he called her, grief filling his entire system as he began to fear that she was gone. She couldn't be gone, she was Pepper Potts. She was strong, she could do it. What was happening to this planet?

Thanos had been in his head for six years. When Peter had told him he thought something was coming, Tony had just thought that it was the kid's senses playing up on him. Tony had even suspected the kid was getting sick, but when he came to Tony's room crying, Tony knew it was something much more than that.

He hadn't expected it to be Thanos.

He hadn't expected to lose his child and his fiancé. 

He hadn't expected any of it.

The sad thing was, he had been expecting to win. He wanted to blame Quill for it all, but he knew it wasn't the space guy's fault. He was grieving, and honestly, if it were Pepper, he would have done the exact same thing. And now Quill was gone, too. They were all gone. 

Everything was falling to ruins, and it had been ever since New York.

There was another hour before they arrived in Wakanda, Quill's ship touching down onto the ground as Tony readied himself. He pushed his grief away, ignoring Peter's and Pepper's faces floating around his mind as the blue girl opened up the ship, panic encasing Tony briefly when he realised that he could have fallen into a battlefield.

On instinct, he suited up, his nanotech suit already having repaired itself as it covered his entire body. He ignored his fears, walking down the ship's doors with metal-heavy steps.

What he saw, was terrifying.

There were bodies, everywhere. Some human, some definitely human, but bodies. They were all over the place, blood everywhere as Tony stepped onto the grass, his heart racing as the tears burned in his eyes. This place was a battlefield, or what was left of one.

Now, Tony could see the people who were alive. They were scattered in groups, some kneeling next to bodies, some standing with blank looks on their faces. Tony didn't let his faceplate fall away as he stepped further away from Quill's ship, turning in full circle as he took in the sight of the place. 

Ignoring everything, he fired his jets and shot up into the air. When he looked down, the true horror of the situation dawned on him. There were so many alien bodies, so many human bodies. So much death. 

Without thinking, he shot off towards the trees. Wakanda's protective dome was open, giving him a clear passage out of the protection as he shot over to the bent-looking trees. He stopped just above it, looking up at the huge ship-like structures. Had this been where all those aliens had come from?

Though, when he looked back down, any thoughts about aliens were wiped clear from his mind when he saw them. A small group of people, visible from some of the broken trees, his Hulkbuster suit standing out the most. Without thinking about it, Tony shot in the direction of his suit, where he could see Bruce. Bruce was alive, he had survived. He had survived Thanos.

Tony could make out more people as he got lower and closer, closing his eyes when his suit made contact with the ground. He kept them closed for a few seconds, his heart pounding away in his chest as he thought about Peter. His kid. When he had opened his eyes, he wished to see Peter standing there, smiling like he always used to do. Tony had noticed the change in Peter over the last month, the kid hadn't been as happy as he had been before.

Tony should have done better.

He didn't remove his faceplate as he began to heave, the tears coming back at full force now as he took in who was around him.

The first thing he saw was Vision.

But Vision wasn't Vision. Vision was grey. Vision was dead.

Tony could see the enormous cave in his forehead, where the stone had been. 

Whatever Tony had left of J.A.R.V.I.S. was gone.

Next, his eyes moved to non-other than Steve Rogers. The tears came faster when he looked at his old friend, who was staring at him with his mouth hanging open slightly. The man had blood on his face and on his lip, he had a beard and had grown his hair out. He looked nothing like the Steve Tony had known, and all he saw now was grief. 

Then, he saw Natasha. She was blonde, she was also looking at him, grief covering her face.

"Tony?"

Rhodey.

His Rhodey.

Abandoning everything, he let his faceplate slide away as his eyes frantically found his friend. Tony was panting, Peter's face before he died floating around his mind as the relief took over him when he met his best friend's eyes. He still had Rhodey.

He let his suit retract, ignoring the dull ache from where Thanos had stabbed him as he stumbled towards his friend. Rhodey was out of his suit, the thing resting up against a tree and badly damaged. Though that was Tony's last thought as he brought his friend in for a relieved hug, the emotions almost taking over as he felt human contact for the first time since he had held Peter. 

He had held Peter when he died.

His kid had turned to dust.

"Peter." Tony whispered, not letting the tears fall. "He didn't..."

"Oh, god." Rhodey wheezed, sounding rather out of breath. Tony didn't let go of Rhodey for some time, in-bracing the relief that his friend hadn't faded away. Though, he finally managed to pull away, eyes ghosting over the rest of the group who remained. Bruce and Thor were there, Thor having short hair and a look of utter despair on his face. Tony had done a teary double-take when he spotted a... a raccoon, sitting hunched up on a log beside Thor. Tony could tell that the animal was distressed, and Tony wondered if he were with Quill and the others.

Bruce had his head in his hands now, sitting on the other side of Thor as silence took over all of them.

No Wanda, no Sam, no T'Challa. 

No Peter.

Peter.

Pepper.

Gone.

Thanos was going to pay.

And so, a year passed, and Tony wasn't doing any better. He wasn't sleeping, he was hardly eating, he was constantly working on ways to get Peter and Pepper back. To bring Wanda back, to maybe even revive Vision somehow. He had to get them back, he had to mend things. He had to bring Peter back.

God, Peter was a kid. He was just a kid, Thanos having destroyed that.

He was sat on the balcony in the Avengers Compound, tears long forgotten as he held his phone in his hand. He hadn't touched the thing since before Thanos, since before Peter died. God, he had gotten Peter killed.

How could he have let this happen?

How had he not found a way to get him back after a year?

How had it been a year since Peter had left him? Since Pepper had left him?

He still had Happy and Rhodey, and he still had the Rogue Avengers. Things weren't mended, but they were civil. Tony hadn't spoken to Steve all that much, but they were okay. They were okay with each other, but they weren't okay with themselves. Tony was never going to be okay with himself, and he hadn't been okay with himself since he was around five years old.

Howard had ruined him.

He had ruined Peter.

He had gotten Peter killed...

Tony looked down at his phone, the tears finally burning at his eyes when he read Peter's contact. His number sat underneath, staring at him, taunting him, reminding him of how much he had destroyed that kid. 

How could he have let Peter get up into space?

Tony leant forwards, right elbow on his knee as the phone sat in his rest hand. He stared at the contact for a little longer, before pressing call and putting the thing on speaker. He listened to the rings, knowing it would ring out, knowing he would hear Peter's voicemail. He knew he was going to hear Peter's voice for the first time since he had turned to dust right in front of him, but he ignored the thoughts as he wished for an impossible miracle.

But soon, Peter's voice was filling his ears and Tony found himself trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Hey, it's Peter, and you missed me, obviously. Or, I just didn't decide to answer..." Tony found his heart racing, begging to be launched out of his chest as he listened to Peter's ramblings. "But really, why are you calling me? It's the 21st century..."

Tony felt a ghost of a smile on his lips as he listened, the grief threatening to overpower him as he listened to his kid's voice. "Anyways, if I don't call back, I'm sorry. Leave a message if you want... bye!"

The phone beeped, and Tony found himself talking before he could even process it.

"Hey, kid." He whispered into the phone, his voice sounding out of breath as the emotion threatened to swallow him whole. "It's been a year since.. y'know. I bet you wished you stayed on that bus, yeah?"

Tony wanted to laugh, but he couldn't. Instead, he continued to speak.

"I know you'll probably never get to hear this. But I want you to know I'm sorry..." Tony could feel the tears coming at full force now, and there was nothing he could do to stop them. The pain in his chest was excruciating, the memories of the arc reactor blending in with the grief as he continued to speak into the phone. "I'm sorry I couldn't have done better. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

He paused, closing his eyes and letting a few tears slip from his closed lids.

"But I want you to know that I'm trying. We're trying." Tony could feel himself choking up, Pepper's face floating into his mind for a few seconds. "We're gonna get you back. We're gonna get everyone back. Pep, you, everyone. We're gonna save you. I'm gonna save you."

He didn't even know what he was talking about anymore. 

"I'm going to keep-"

The phone beeped, signalling that the voicemail was too long. Tony dropped his phone, the emotions overpowering him as the tears came at full force. He leaned on both elbows, the heals of his hands in both eyes as he tried to keep everything inside. He used to master bottling up his feelings, but now, he was ruined. He'd lost Peter and he'd lost Pepper, and he was beginning to think that he was never going to get them back.

But he had to keep trying. He couldn't give up.

He didn't pull his hands away from his eyes, even when he felt someone's hand rest on his shoulder. He didn't move when the person dragged up another chair, sitting next to him as if offering the silent comfort. Tony let them, aware of himself calming just from the human presence. He hadn't been around many people since everything, and he was almost craving the human contact now. Whoever was sitting next to him seemed to know that, and didn't try to touch him for a second time.

Only later, when he had been sitting there for over an hour with the unknown person, he realised that it was Steve Rogers.

And for once, Tony wasn't mad.

That's where he found himself five days later, sitting in that same chair with his phone in his hand. 

"Hey, kid." He whispered, staring out into the distance. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm still trying. Thanos will pay for what he did..."

"I don't know why I'm sending you these, when I know you're not here to hear them. I guess it's just a weird coping mechanism, but you already know I'm pretty fucked up in many ways already." Tony chuckled dryly, no humour left in him for it to be genuine. "Oops, I swore."

"Anyways, I guess I should end my little night call for now. Bye, kid. I'm coming."

He let the voicemail run until the beep, placing the technology on the floor as he leant on his elbows, mirroring his actions from just a few nights ago. He needed Peter to be here, he needed Peter to just call him back and tell him that he was okay, that he was just having a terrible and fucked up nightmare. He had to hear his voice, his voice that wasn't recorded. He wanted to hear his real voice, he needed Peter to be here in the flesh.

He needed his kid to be okay.

But he knew he wasn't.

He knew his kid was stuck in the soul stone, that he wasn't entirely gone. There was a chance, there was a chance for everyone.

He sat like that for the rest of the night, and when Steve joined him, he didn't complain.

Because he knew the both of them were grieving for the ones they lost.

Another year and a half passed, and still with no solutions. Tony continued to leave Peter voicemails, and had even begun to leave Pepper some. It was the only reason why he was coping, hearing their voices when their phones stopped ringing. Hearing them kept him living, kept him breathing as he tried everything he possibly could to find a solution. 

Steve would come and sit with him every night he left either one a voicemail, they would sit in silence, they would relish in the comfort from each other. Neither one of them reflected on Germany, neither one of them brought up the Civil War. They just sat, staring into the distance, wondering where everything had gone wrong.

Tony was sure he had left so many voicemails on both Peter and Pepper's phones that they would become full at some point, and the day Peter's had become full, he had cried.

Because he had no idea where his kid's phone even was, and he wasn't going to go find it.

Steve had comforted him that night, a hand resting on his wrist as Tony grieved. Tony had spared one glance at his old friend, to find Steve's cheeks wet with tears, also. Tony knew why.

Bucky.

It had been two and a half years and they had found nothing. Tony was lost, he had no idea how to get them back.

But then came that year.

The year when they figured it out.

The year when they discovered how they could get their friends and the rest of the universe back.

Tony hadn't believed it at first, time travel. How was that even possible?

Everyone had been shocked, everyone had been confused. But they had discovered a way, and there was no way Tony was going to miss this opportunity. There was no way he was going to miss this opportunity to get his kid and his fiancé back. He had to do it.

He almost grabbed his phone to call Peter, before remembering that his voicemail was full.

So instead, he tried Pepper's.

"Hey, Pep." He said into the phone, Steve sitting quietly beside him. "We figured something out."

He sighed, letting the tears fall freely as he stared out into the distance.

"We're gonna get you and Pete back, don't worry. Time travel, can you believe it?" He chuckled again, though still, there was no humour left in him. "We're coming."

He ended the voicemail short, leaning into his hand as his head pounded. They could do this.

And one year later, they did.

It took them four years, but they did it. They figured it out.

And that's where Tony found himself, in Wakanda, watching everyone as they reappeared. He was stood in the same clearing with the rest of the Avengers who had been there, plus the raccoon, staring into the clearing in hopes of their friends returning. Tony's suit was covering his body, though his faceplate was not covering him as he waited for something for happen. He wished for something to happen.

And then, it did.

Right in front of them, Wanda appeared, falling forwards onto the ground and coughed violently. Steve had been the one to fall forwards, catching his friend and holding her to his chest as she cried. Not long after the reappearance of Wanda, Sam stood into the clearing, and Rhodey was stepping forwards to wrap him into a hug. Sam had then gone to Steve and Wanda, the three of them in a group hug as Tony watched the clearing.

When Bucky had stumbled through the clearing, Tony would never forget the look that Steve had on his face. He shot out of Wanda and Sam's clutches, barrelling towards his old friend. Tony watched as the two of them collapsed, arms wrapped around each other as they reunited.

Soon after Steve and Bucky's emotional reunion, T'Challa stepped into the clearing, eyes wide but not seeming fearful. 

More so, confused.

After T'Challa came a... a tree. 

The tree and the raccoon gravitated towards each other, and instantly Tony knew they were with Quill.

But then the thought hit him.

These people were returning from where they had died. They had died here, there fore they had reappeared here. That meant... that meant Peter was going to be up on Titan. Peter wouldn't walk out of those woods like everyone else, he was going to be stuck up in that god forsaken planet. Titan.

No.

Before he could scream and demand someone fly him into space, F.R.I.D.A.Y. was speaking to him.

"Pepper Potts is calling, sir." 

Tony almsot choked on air, immediately willing F.R.I.D.A.Y. to answer. She did as she was told, and soon Pepper's voice was filling his ears.

"Pepper." He breathed, bringing his faceplate over his face so the others couldn't see how he was feeling. "Pepper? Are you there?"

"Tony!" He almost screamed, the relief surging into his body when he heard her voice. She was okay, she was alive. Pepper was alive. "Where the hell are you? What's going on?"

"Pepper." He breathed, the tears already coming. "Pepper, honey. You're alive."

"What's going on, Tony?"

"You're okay. We're okay." Tony whispered, before the desperation to see Peter and fly up into space began to overpower him. "We're alive. Peter... I need to get Peter."

"What happened to Peter?"

Did she not remember?

Did no one remember what had been happening for the last four years? Did they not remember that they had been turned to dust? 

The Avengers seemed to know. Tony didn't understand.

"I have to go, honey. I promise I'll explain everything to you once this is all over. I love you."

"Tony?"

"Sorry, Pep." He whispered, before ending the call. He stood there for a few minutes, regaining himself, letting the relief that Pepper was alive consume him. Now, he had to find Peter. 

But there was no way he was going to get up into space. There was no way he was going to make it all the way to Titan in just his suit. He was screwed, Peter was up there alone, and he had no idea what to do. He was lost once again, and he felt like that this time he was never going to make it back out.

Time passed, they moved positions, Peter never appearing. He was up on Titan, Tony knew it.

But he couldn't get there. 

A few hours had passed before something began to happen. He had been sitting on a rock, staring out at the carnage with Steve sitting next to him when he saw it, when he saw the orange glow erupting somewhere far down the paddocks. It looked familiar, but Tony had no idea what it was until it clicked.

The wizard. Dr. Strange?

But when he saw the portal open, he almost fell of the rock from how fast he stood.

He watched as Quill came into view, the weird girl and guy following behind him. Quill was looking around him in awe, as if he had never been on Earth. Right, he was technically an alien now, and Tony figured that the guy hadn't been to Earth in a while. Though his thoughts were cut off when he realised who else exactly had arrived with Quill, his whole body stopping when he rested his eyes on him.

There, with Quill's arm wrapped around his shoulders, was Peter. 

The kid seemed to be bawling his eyes out, seemingly curling into Quill's hold as they stepped through one of Strange's portals. Tony felt his heart speed up and threaten to jump out of his chest when he laid eyes on his kid, speeding up even more when he saw that Peter was crying. Though it was more than crying, it was hysterical.

Tony didn't know what to do for the first few seconds, staring over at his kid with wide eyes.

Tony was momentarily distracted by the sight of Strange coming through the portal after them, the thing closing up and the image of Titan's red surface disappeared.

Tony shot forwards, using his jets to get over to his kid faster as he hadn't actually gotten out of the suit. He watched Peter's head shoot up at the sound, his tear-filled eyes glancing around desperately as he tried to find where the sound was coming from.

Tony saw the very moment that Peter saw him, and he almost fell out of the air when he saw his reaction.

He was reaching out for him, the action much like a child's as Tony landed a few feat away from them. Quill was looking in his direction, Tony barely noticing that the man's face was covered in tears and dirt as well as he barrelled towards Peter. He let his nanotech suit peel away from his body, receding back into his chest piece as he got closer and closer to his kid.

Quill seemed to be helping Peter get to him faster, his hands underneath the kids armpits as he reached out for Tony. Tony did notice that Peter seemed to be struggling to stand, his knees shaking dangerously as Quill held him up. Tony retracted every bad thought had had about the Starlord as he helped his kid, Tony finally reaching them after way to long.

When they were in arms reach, Quill let go of Peter and Peter fell into Tony's arms. They both shrank to the floor, Peter's sobs filling his ears as the boy completely curled into Tony's embrace. The tears were already falling down Tony's face as he hugged his kid, looking up at Quill to nod in thanks. The man just weakly smiled down at him, before Tony heard his name being called by that raccoon.

Tony didn't pay attention to that as he hugged Peter, the kid mumbling things that Tony couldn't understand.

"It's okay, you're fine. I'm here now. It's okay." Tony was whispering, rocking the two of them as Peter clung onto him. "It's okay. We're alive."

Peter didn't reply, instead clinging onto him tighter and burying his face further into Tony's chest, right where the arc reactor used to be. He pulled away from Peter, both hands on the side of his kid's face as he cried out in terror. 

When he met eye contact with Peter, he never wanted it to go.

He was alive.

He resorted to wiping away his tears, a weak smile passing over his face when Peter leaned into his touch.

"I told you I was working on it." Tony whispered, before bracing one hand on the back of Peter's head and pulled him back into his chest. Peter didn't answer once again, though he was still muttering things that Tony couldn't figure out. He ignored that, rocking his kid until he began to calm down a little more. "It's okay, Underoos. You're safe now."

Tony was still crying, but he ignored it as Peter shook in his arms. He was alive, he was here.

They were going to be okay.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry." Tony managed to hear between Peter's stutters, his chest clenching with pain as he hugged his kid tighter. "T-T-Tony."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, kid." Tony almost sobbed, closing his eyes. "It's over now."

This continued for some time, the two of them on the ground bawling their eyes out. But soon. they both began to calm down, Peter becoming heavy in Tony's arms as he began to fall asleep. They were both exhausted, and Tony knew for a fact that they couldn't sleep there.

"Alright, Petey, how's about we find a real bed?" Tony asked, finally pulling his head up to look for someone. His eyes met Steve's, who was standing with Bucky not to far away. Tony knew there was no way in hell that he was going to be able to carry Peter anywhere, and Steve seemed to know what he needed. "Pete?"

"Don' leave." The boy whispered, not raising his head from Tony's shoulder. "I don' wanna go."

Tony tensed. "You're not going anywhere. It's over now, Petey. Thanos is dead."

"Thanos..." Peter murmured, Tony watching as his eyes lazily looked around him. "Thanos.."

"Yeah, Pete, Thanos. He's gone now."

"Gone?"

"Yes, he's gone."

Tony was shocked at how small Peter looked, and how innocent he was acting. Tony knew the kid was traumatised, and probably would be for the rest of his life. Hell, Tony was traumatised. Everyone was. Who wouldn't be?

It was after their short conversation when Steve reached them, kneeling down. "T'Challa says he has a place you can stay, and he's already organised transport."

"Thanks." Tony whispered, rubbing Peter's back as the boy hiccuped. "D'you think you can carry him?"

Steve nodded, Peter tensing in Tony's arms. "N-No."

"Pete, I'll be right here the whole time. I can't carry you, I'm too old and I don't exactly have super strength." Tony tried to lighten the situation, but Peter seemed to be having none of that. Tony looked at Steve, nodding for him to pick Peter up, so the man did so.

The noise Peter let out when he was lifted away from Tony was a sound he never wanted to hear again.

Tony knew that in any other day, Peter would gawk at the fact of being carried like a child. But he knew the kid was far too out of it to care about anything else. Instead of fighting, like Tony was expecting, he weakly reached out for him over Steve's shoulder.

Tony just grabbed his kid's hand, and like that, they began making their way to the transport T'Challa had set up for the latter of them.

The ride in the weird spaceship-like thing was strange, Peter sitting between Steve and Tony the entire ride there. Everything passed in a blur, and before Tony could comprehend it or even take in the actual sights of Wakanda, he was inside the room that T'Challa had set up for him and Peter. The others had similar rooms, each of them all down the same hallway in one of the many amazing buildings.

He was laying on the bed with Peter wrapped up in his arms, his hand running through the kid's hair as he began to fall asleep. Tony had called Pepper, letting her know what had happened while he laid with Peter, and before he knew it, she was on the way to Wakanda. Tony wasn't complaining.

When Peter fell asleep, Tony took this time to look at his sleeping kid's face.

He didn't even know when he had started calling Peter his kid. Sometime four years ago, before everything. Before Thanos.

But he didn't care about that now, because Peter was his kid. 

Peter needed him, Tony knew that. Tony also knew that he couldn't replace his Aunt May, who was for sure out there worrying. He knew they would have to get out of Wakanda as soon as possible so he could get the two back together.

But not now. Tony needed Peter, too.

They needed each other, they had become like a father and son without even realising.

Peter was home, he was alive. His child was alive.

And that's all he could have ever asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, that's it!!
> 
> thank you all for reading and sending comment and kudos, it really inspired me to finish this!!!  
> i also uploaded another story not long ago 'the story of peter stark' if you want to check that out :D
> 
> thanks for reading and sticking through until the end if you did <3

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed.
> 
> please leave some feedback! it really means a lot getting comments, even if it is criticism! 
> 
> thank you for reading :)


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